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Why Does Menopause Make Me So Angry

Why Do Women Hate Their Husbands In Perimenopause A Wifes Perspective

Why does menopause make me feel so bad?

July 8, 2012 by Magnolia

I thought I might do something a little different in this post series, by featuring a couple of comments from a woman who identified herself as SAH.

SAH is in her late thirties, is married with two young children, and beginning to enter perimenopause. Her comments are a perfect illustration of the inner-workings of a womans mind, and provides a road map as to how exactly many of women arrive at the decision to leave a marriage.

I am in no way suggesting that SAHs circumstances are the blueprint for every failed marriage. I realize every marriage is unique, and the relationship dynamics are as well. My intention is to present to you an excellent example of what happens in the mind of a woman during a marriage, and why, once she reaches perimenopause, she may no longer want to be in the marriage.

I found SAH to be a very intelligent and insightful woman who, in my opinion, expressed herself quite well. I hope you will be able to glean something from this.

As always, gentlemen, take the meat and spit out the bones!

My Periods Came Back And Left And Came Back And Left This Is Crazy

Nature and God only gives you so much to endure. I found that after a visit to my physician I had stopped ovulating and periods were about to stop.they did stop for a few months, but then they would come back.however, I did not feel as strange or crazy as I had in past months. At last, I began to feel normal again whatever that was.

Remember To Let Your Loved Ones Know

So this is quite an important symptom in the menopause. Its not one thats very often looked into, and I know a lot of women are quite embarrassed because they feel that they cant control their emotions anymore. But just remember that this is, its not you. This is very often the hormones that are causing this. And also, let the people around you, let your loved ones and your friends, let them know whats going on. Because if they realise that you getting irritated or impatient or short with them is actually to do with the menopause and its not that you dont love them anymore or you dont care for them anymore, then that can make a huge difference and youre more likely to get peoples support at this particular time, rather than everything turning into maybe an argument or a lot of upset as well.

Also Check: Is Lightheadedness A Symptom Of Menopause

Can Menopause Cause Anger Issues

Put simply, your mood starts to fluctuate more than usual when you reach perimenopause because your body is going through a lot of changes, particularly when it comes to your hormones. But in order to understand why you are feeling so angry as your body makes the transition towards menopause, you need to have a basic understanding of serotonin and estrogen.

It Feels Impossible To Beat: How I Was Floored By Menopause

why does it make me so mad  in 2021

For Rose George, menopause has proved far worse than low moods. It feels like a derangement. And what the hell is it for?

I stare stupidly at it. Its nothing much to look at. Its only a small pile of clothing: the shorts and tank top that I wear in bed, which I have thrown on to the floor before getting into the shower. I stare stupidly at the clump because I cant pick it up. Its astonishing that I managed to shower, because I know already that this is a bad day, one when I feel assaulted by my hormones, which I picture as small pilots in those huge Star Wars armoured beasts that turn me this way and that, implacable. On this morning, I wake up with fear in my stomach fear of nothing and I know it will be a bad day.

For a while, I thought I could predict these days. I have had practice. This is my second menopause: the first was chemically induced seven years ago to treat my endometriosis, a condition that has riddled my insides with adhesions of endometrial tissue, and stuck my organs together. The adhesions are exacerbated by oestrogen the drug switched it off. I hated that menopause. It was a crash off a cliff into sudden insomnia and depression, and a complete eradication of sexual desire. The symptoms will last six months, said the male ob-gyn, with a voice he thought was kind but that sounded only casual. They lasted far longer. The nurse giving me the first injection said, He keeps prescribing this stuff, but women hate it.

Read Also: Does The Texture Of Hair Change With Menopause

Research Shows Panic Disorder Is More Common Around Menopause

At the time, I believed the psychiatrist knew best because he was an expert, but now Im more or less out the other side of the menopause, my moods have stabilized. This seems more than a coincidence, so I looked into it more closely in order to research my new book on the menopause, and lo, Ive discovered that panic disorder is common at this time.

Stacey B. Gramann, Psychiatry Resident at the University of Massachusetts, reports in a survey of nearly 3,500 women aged 50-79 years, that panic attacks were most common among women in the menopause. Its a similar story with depression: Investigators from the Harvard Study of Moods and Cycles recruited premenopausal women aged 36-44 years with no history of major depression. They then followed up these women for nine years to detect new onsets of major depression and bingo! According to Gramann, they found that women who entered perimenopause were twice as likely to have clinically significant depressive symptoms as women who were as yet not perimenopausal.

So if I were sitting opposite you, dear blog reader, in a psychiatric consultation and you asked if the menopausal transition could be contributing to your fluctuating mood, Id say, Yes, certainly. There might be other contributing factors, but perimenopausal mood swings and crashes are also often linked to fluctuating estrogen and progesterone levels.

Tranquility Is Possible When You Practice Loving Kindness Towards Yourself And Others

Its unusual to find a woman in perimenopause who hasnt had a touchy moment every now and again. It doesnt feel good to find yourself there, but its not an unforgivable offense. Use these outbursts as teachable moments for yourself take some time to find out whats behind them, and you might be able to get to what you need without exploding. Recognize how bad it makes you feel to unload on innocent friends and family, but remember that the moment will pass, and you are still worthy of love and respect.

Pam realized that she was feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated. She sat down with her family and came up with a schedule of chores for everyone, which helped her find the time she needed to exercise, eat properly and get to bed earlier. What can you do to treat yourself well, which will allow you to treat everyone around you better too? Make your hormonal health a priority as you move towards the best you yet!

Sometimes, You Need a Little Support for Hormonal Mood Swings

Making changes to long established habits can be tough. If you find yourself stuck, you might need a little extra supplemental support to get yourself over the hump. I have some programs designed to support your body through this amazing journey in just the right ways. Let me help you find the solution that works for you!

It can be a long journey when you are working to bring your hormones back into balance. You dont have to travel it alone!

Recommended Reading: Heightened Sense Of Smell Perimenopause

I Can’t Take It Anymore Perimenopause Horriblehelp


I am 48 years old, stay at home mom with two children. They are in school, I try to keep myself very busy. I have had OCD and anxiety, I have been fighting it for years. But, now the Perimenopause is really terrible..depressed, mood swings, tension headaches, dry and itchy skin.

I have spoken to my sisters who are all past Menopause, they tell me their stories but I just cannot believe that hormones can cause all this havock. I do not feel myself at all, my PMS is worse and the week of my period I actually feel like I have a disease and I am dying. Feel like I am going crazy!! Please tell me if this is normal to feel this way at this time, because I am obsessing and cannot get my mind off of it. Need Help!!!!

29 likes, 719 replies

  • Posted 6 years ago

    I am so overwhelmed with the women on this site who take the time to write such wonderful replies. This has been a God send!!! thank you so much!!! ox

  • Posted 6 years ago

    I cant say anymore than I agree 110%. Some symptoms I didnt even realise were symptoms. I too have been dwelling on negative past experiences & I am also greatful for the sharing

  • 8 months ago

    Hi Liz,

    I think the reason your ex gym behaves like this is that she probably been lucky and hasnt yet experienced what you have experienced. Nevertheless there is no excuse to ever be rude, in particular not towards patients who are clearly suffering.

  • Perimenopause And Extreme Fatigue

    Why am I so angry during menopause?

    During perimenopause, your body is going through some pretty intense hormonal changes as your ovaries begin to shut the doors on their reproductive years. Coupled with other symptoms that accompany the perimenopausal period including night sweats, insomnia, and hot flashes, it can feel impossible to get a good nights rest.

    In perimenopause, you experience fluctuating hormone levels. Estrogen and progesterone tend to decline as you go through menopause. However, there are receptors for estrogen and progesterone all over your body. Thus, changes in your ovaries affect your whole body.

    Also Check: Does Ristela Cause Weight Gain

    Firstly Why Do We Need Sleep

    Our bodies require a long period of sleep for optimal health and wellbeing. During sleep, our bodies consolidate memories and experiences, restore and rejuvenate, repair tissues, grow muscle, and synthesize hormones. When we do not get enough consecutive hours of sleep, our bodies are not able to complete all of these necessary tasks in order to perform at our best.

    Interestingly, our bodies regulate sleep similarly to the way we regulate breathing, eating, and drinking. Therefore, while scientists are still exploring theories for why we sleep, there is consensus that sleep serves a critical role in our health and well-being. Unfortunately, when we are in perimenopause, there are a number of symptoms that prevent women from getting enough sleep. Consequently, fatigue during perimenopause further aggravates an already stressed body.

    What Can You Do

    So what can you do about this particular situation? If its just general anger and irritability and it happens now and again, then very often, just check your diet.

    High-sugar intake, an extra cup of coffee, an extra sticky bun can give you enough sugar that just revs up your nervous system and you can end up hitting out. Also, your nervous system gets very stressed at this time, anyway, and there can be a fine line between being able to control your anger and actually jumping over the edge, if you like, as well.

    What you can do, you can look at herbs, such as valerian and passiflora. These can very often take the edge off the anger and the irritability. Dehydration can do it as well, so if youre getting hot flushes and anger, then, maybe just up your water intake a little bit.

    Low blood sugar levels can do it too. We tend to be more irritable and angry when were actually hungry, so eat little and often if you can. Remember the magnesium, too. Its your happy mineral. It keeps your mood much more level, so thats a really important one to keep going in the menopause, and maybe add in a vitamin B complex as well.

    Read Also: Are Sweet Potatoes Good For Menopause

    How Anger At Menopause Prompts You To Heal Your Past

    Certain areas of the brain, such as the amygdala and the hippocampus are important for encoding and retrieving memories. They are also rich in estrogen, progesterone, and GnRH receptors, the hormones that fluctuate the most during perimenopause. This is why menopausal hormonal changes bring a womans anger to conscious awareness. The heightened activity of these hormones often brings back the memories of hurts and losses women have managed to forget or minimize. And this makes menopause the perfect biologically supported opportunity to clean up unfinished business from the past. How this ultimately affects you depends to a large degree on how willing you are to make the changes you are being urged to make.

    Many women become frightened when they feel anger arising. Or, they say they are just irritable, grouchy, aggravated, envious, overwhelmed, even depressed, or that they just have high cholesterol or high blood pressure. Believe me, all of these emotions and physical conditions are associated with anger. And anger always arises from a genuine need that isnt being met. Learning to recognize the situations from which your anger arises is the first step toward understanding the messages behind your anger and ultimately healing.

    Here are some situations from which anger arises and the corresponding messages behind the anger:

    Why Do Women Feel So Angry Welcome To The Age Of Female Rage

    PMS FAQs: Why Am I So Sad and Angry?

    Last week, I was woken at 2am by the unmistakable sound of vomiting. For a foolish split second, I waited to see if my husband, Johnny, would get up and see to Grace, our three-year-old daughter.

    I’d been on my feet for 18 hours straight the previous day, giving a major presentation to one of my advertising company’s most important clients. I hadn’t got home until 10pm and was exhausted. I craved sleep the way an addict longs for his next fix.

    Johnny, on the other hand, had knocked off at 4pm – flexible hours being one of the benefits of working in IT – and arrived home in time to spend the evening playing with Grace.

    Too many lists, too many chores, too much responsibility… Is the pressure of modern life becoming too much?

    After the nanny had bathed her and put her to bed, he’d cheerfully polished off the dinner I’d cooked for him the previous day and had an early night.

    I could have woken him, of course, but a few days earlier, Grace had been taken ill at her new nursery school. They’d called to ask me to pick her up, but I’d been in a wretched meeting and had never got the message. Grace had cried for me for half the day before falling into an exhausted, red-cheeked sleep.

    Still racked with guilt for not being there, I chastised myself for minding about her waking me and stumbled into the nursery, where I discovered she’d thrown up, in spectacular fashion, all over her cot. I cleaned her up, stripped and changed the sheets and put her back to bed.

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    Do You Have Misophonia Take The Test

    If youre reading this article because youre concerned that you might have misophonia, Ive prepared a simple test based on my own personal experience and my experience talking to other sufferers.

    This does not constitute medical advice and is only meant as a guide, but if after taking the test and doing your own research you feel like you identify with some, or all, of the symptoms please consult a medical professional.

    Question 1: Do you experience a strong, overwhelming sense of panic accompanied by feelings of anger or fear or irritation when you hear certain, specific sounds?

    A) YesB) MaybeC) No

    Question 2: Do the following sounds trigger a strong emotional reaction in you? Slurping, sniffing, chewing, crunching, rustling, coughing, tapping?

    A) Most of the aboveB) Some of the aboveC) None of the above

    If youve been answering Cs up to this point, please scroll to the results. Otherwise continue

    Question 3: How old were you when you first noticed having adverse reactions to certain sounds?

    A) 0 16 years oldB) 17+

    Question 4: Have you ever felt a strong, violent urge to lash out or escape when exposed to the trigger sounds mentioned in Question 2?

    A) YesB) No

    Question 5: Have you ever tried to avoid family dinners/make excuses to leave the table/worried about going to places where youll be exposed to these sounds?

    A) Sometimes/OftenB) No

    A) YesB) No/Not Sure

    A) Yes

    Causes Of Midlife Depression

    There are many reasons that women may suffer from depression after the age of forty. Some of them are biological, some are situational, and some are psychological. A few common factors in midlife depression are:

    • Hormone changes: Decreasing levels of estrogen and progesterone can upset the levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin , which in turn affects mood, sleep, and appetite.
    • Response to loss: Loss of parents, children leaving home, divorce, friends lost to illness, loss of youth, or poor healthany one of these might trigger an extended grief response that could turn into major depression.
    • Medical conditions: Some medical conditions can make you more likely to suffer from depression. If you have heart disease, thyroid dysfunction, sleep disorders, seasonal affective disorder, or a previous head injury, you may be more prone to major depression.
    • Drug and alcohol use: Alcohol and opiate pain medications are depressants. If you regularly use these substances, they can interfere with hormone activity and can have the side effect of depression symptoms. Alcohol can also worsen hot flashes and night sweats, adding sleep difficulties to your list of things to cope with. Although it’s tempting to ease your emotional pain with an extra glass of wine or other drugs, they can actually make your symptoms worse and make it harder to sort out whether or not you’re depressed.

    Also Check: Is Dizziness A Symptom Of Menopause


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