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What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Menopause

Dont Pressure Her For Sex

What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Them – Morning by Morning Podcast

Menopause and relationships can make for a tricky mix, especially if both partners do not commit to embracing whats in store for them. One important aspect to brace yourself for is a change in your sex life. The fluctuating hormones can take a toll on a womans libido, and make her interest in intimacy nosedive.

Related reading:Health benefits of sex for men and women

Speak When Youre Angry Youll Make The Best Speech Youll Ever Regret

Youre on her side, right? Even when she might be treating you like the enemy. Between dodging flying frying pans and offering tissues, try talking to her, no matter how awkward you feel broaching the subject. Shell appreciate it, and letting her know that youre trying to make it easier for her will take you out of the line of fire, at least temporarily. Dont underestimate the difficulty of menopause.Its a trying time for you, so just imagine how difficult it is for her. The main thing here is to be patient. Give her plenty of leeway when she is upset or overcome with menopause anger and try to remember shes not out to get you.

Sometimes it can be difficult for women to recognise themselves in the ways they feel and react to menopause. Imagine how tough it is to feel like a stranger to yourself. Dont wait for her to call for the cavalry. Be there first to offer hugs, tissues, and ice cream. Suck it up and offer help. Cook the dinner, do some housekeeping whatever it takes to stop her from feeling unsupported.

Strategy To Alleviate Sexual Disharmonies

Adaptive strategy

1) Change in roles and values

Some of these women who believe that menopause is the same as ageing adopt an adoptive strategy and change their values and roles.

When they hit 45, women experience vaginal dryness because of menopause, and they feel as if they’ ve en tered old age. It changes their role from that of a pretty and sexy wife to a devoted mother and a good chef assuming that they are unable to compete with young girls.

2) Bite the bullet and put up with sexual problems

According to participants, some menopausal women who believed in untreatable nature of sexual problems, considered menopause as a normal physiological change or were ashamed of discussing their sexual problems, adopted Bite the bullet and put up with sexual problems strategy.

Many of them think that there is no cure for their sexual problem in menopause and they have to tolerate it for the rest of their life.

3) Endeavor to protect the relationship with partner by means of fake sexual pleasure

Some menopausal women use fake orgasm as a strategy to conceal their reduced sexual desire because they are afraid that decrease in sexual desire influence on marital relationship. Participants related stories about menopausal women who pretended to reach orgasm.

One woman said, My husband asks me if I’ve climaxed. I say ‘Yes, yes, yes.’ I even fake it, cause I don’t want him to know that I no longer climax.

4) Try to engage in substitute activities

Adopting treatment strategies

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Guys’ Guide To Menopause

Learn what goes on during a woman’s menopause — and how to help your partner.

Menopause isn’t just a rough time for women — it’s also hard for the men who love them. If your spouse or partner is in the throes of “the change,” unpleasant symptoms like hot flashes and mood swings will probably affect you and your relationship.

In a recent survey, 38% of men said their wife’s night sweats and insomnia related to menopause affected intimacy, and they cited their partner’s lack of sleep or poor sleep as the main reason.

You may not be able to prevent hot flashes, but you can help the woman in your life get through this trying time — and preserve and strengthen your relationship.

Know what to expect. The average age of menopause in the U.S. is 51, but many women start to get symptoms in their early 40s. They can begin as early as 7 years before a woman’s final period and last 5 years or more afterward — that’s some 12 years of disruptive symptoms, like hot flashes, night sweats, and insomnia.

What causes them? “Changes in hormone levels during menopause can affect the body’s ability to regulate its core temperature,” says Rebecca Brightman, MD, OB/GYN, assistant clinical professor at Mount Sinai Hospital. Some women may also have vaginal bleeding at unexpected times, vaginal dryness, and pain during sex.

Things You Wish Your Partner Knew About Menopause

What wives wish their husbands knew about menopause James ...

Whether it’s the strange looks he shoots at you when the handheld fan comes out in the middle of winter or his confusion when those go-to moves just aren’t doing the trick anymore, you can’t help but feel a little sorry for your other half when menopause starts to make waves. To make their lives a little easier, we asked women who’ve gone through that transition to help us put together a cheat sheet of everything you wish your partner understood.

“I still want you, it’s just hard for my body to get on board.”

If an upper lip wax sounds more appealing than sex, welcome to menopause. A dipping libido is a classic symptom, but not exactly a welcome one. “When my interest in sex dropped off, my husband was really hurt,” says Lorraine, 56, who has been married for 32 years. “I wish he could understand that it has nothing to do with himI’m still very attracted to him, and love touching him and kissing. I just don’t care to initiate sex anymore.” Explaining the physical changes that hit you during menopauseincluding less blood flow to genital organs, a decrease in vaginal lubrication, and a decreased response to touchmight help him see it’s not all about him, after all.

MORE: 8 Reasons It Hurts During SexAnd How To Fix It

“I wish you’d stop sabotaging my health kick!”

“You have no idea how tired I am.”

“Hot flashes aren’t there for your amusement.”

MORE: 10 Little Things Connected Couples Do

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Be In Tune With What Shes Going Through

The whole point of understanding the menopause is to able to support your wife through this trying transition. So pay attention to the physical and emotional changes shes going through and be there for her. Her symptoms can vary from irritability and mood swings to anxiety and depression. While the former can be handled with the right mix of compassion, empathy and a little sense of humour, the latter may require clinical intervention.

So being in tune with your spouses state of body and mind is crucial. Nudge her a bit in the right direction if you feel that things are getting out of control. Try to maintain a happy environment at home and make her more comfortable by taking the things that are irritating her off her hand.

Tip #2 She May Not Tell You Things

Menopause is still such a taboo subject that it can be hard to talk about, even between intimate, long-term partners. As this husband of 28 years said, Dont take it personally if she doesnt want to share the details with you. What happened to her that day might be really embarrassing, like maybe she had a hot flash while training some 22-year-old intern. Be open to hearing it, but also be open to not hearing it. And it can depend on the day, too one day its humiliating, the next day its hilarious. Just try to go with it.

Also Check: Is Dizziness A Symptom Of Menopause

The Effects On Relationships

While menopause is natural and normal, husbands and wives are often caught off guard by changes in their marriage relationship. Many husbands become confused by the behavior of their wife during menopause. The first thing men often notice is a decrease in sexual desire by their spouse.

As both partners age, a decrease in the frequency of sexual intimacy is normal, but during menopause some women have a significant loss of desire or begin to experience so much discomfort with intercourse that they choose to avoid contact. The husband may not understand whats going on and feel rejected or even suspicious that his wife is interested in someone else.

If a couple is already experiencing marital problems, then moodiness, irritability, confusion and sudden outbursts of anger may add another level of difficulty. Counseling may be necessary for both spouses during this crucial time of hormonal change.

She Cant Get Her Act Together

What Husbands wish their wives knew.

The thing to focus on in understanding the menopause is that no woman can just get her act together and get on with it. The changes erupting in her body left, right and centre make it impossible for that to happen. Even when she knows shes being unreasonable in crying at the drop of a hat or yelling at you or the kids or the dog for no reason, she cant make it stop.

Related Reading:Surviving The Dark Days Of A Marriage

Also Check: Dizzy Spells Menopause

Perimenopause Advice For Husbands: Dos And Donts

A woman living through menopause goes through a lot of physical and psychological upheavals. The important thing to remember at this time is that menopause is the end of fertility, not the end of life. You can help her embrace that being her support system. Menopause and marriage, a sane and stable one at that, can co-exist. All you need to do is be empathetic toward her. Here is a list of dos and donts of perimenopause advice for husbands to bear in mind:

Tip #6 No Better Present Than You Being Present

There is nothing more attractive than a man who doesnt just say he cares he shows it. By being present. By hanging in. I want to support the women I love, one man told us. My wife, my friends you know, my sister just turned 50. So I read stuff Ill never completely understand, like I did when my wife was pregnant. I just learned thatDr. Sarah Speck says women have a higher risk of heart disease after menopause, but the symptoms of a heart attack look different in women. Seems like an important thing to know.

But being present and engaged is often easier said than done. Theres no doubt that menopause has impacts on the men in the relationship, and guys are often left without good solutions for what theyre going through. As one man put it, Sometimes its annoying feeling like you cant complain because your wife has it so much worse. But if you end up resenting it, thats not good either, he said, so, Walk away when you have to. Tell her you need 30 minutes or an hour or an afternoon. Go do something guy, if you want. Then come back when you said you would.

Read Also: How To Increase Breast Size After Menopause

Let’s Talk Menopause No Really It’ll Be Worth Ityour Browser Indicates If You’ve Visited This Link

As a health expert I thought I knew enough about eating right, exercise and sleep to figure my way through the weight gain and energy drain, but there’s more to and menopause than that. I ended up enlisting help from a couple of my good friends who happen to know a lot about the topic,

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Its Ok To Talk About It

What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women by James C ...

Many women are not entirely sure what to expect of perimenopause and menopause let alone their spouses but communicating with each other can be greatly beneficial for both individuals. Men may have many questions during this huge life change, but feel uncomfortable to discuss them. Its important to break the stigma and encourage honest conversations.

As the woman experiencing menopause, share what symptoms you are facing and ways your spouse may be supportive. As the spouse, ask any questions to help you better understand menopause and what to expect. To recognize the common symptoms and have a better understanding of what your wife may be experiencing, you should first learn what exactly are perimenopause and menopause.

Perimenopause involves the body decreasing hormone production usually 8-10 years before the full onset of menopause. Once menopause begins, the menstrual cycle has fully stopped, ovaries stopped producing a majority of estrogen, and a wide range of symptoms may become present. Its a natural part of life and, with some support, you will both get through these changes.

Recommended Reading: Menopause Dizzy Spells

What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity

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Im not sure its possible to justify my liaisons with married men, but what I learned from having them warrants discussion. Not between the wives and me, though I would be interested to hear their side. No, this discussion should happen between wives and husbands, annually, the way we inspect the tire tread on the family car to avoid accidents.

A few years ago, while living in London, I dated married men for companionship while I processed the grief of being newly divorced. I hadnt sought out married men specifically. When I created a profile on Tinder and OkCupid, saying I was looking for no-strings-attached encounters, plenty of single men messaged me and I got together with several of them. But many married men messaged me too.

After being married for 23 years, I wanted sex but not a relationship. This is dicey because you cant always control emotional attachments when body chemicals mix, but with the married men I guessed that the fact that they had wives, children and mortgages would keep them from going overboard with their affections. And I was right. They didnt get overly attached, and neither did I. We were safe bets for each other.

All told I communicated with maybe a dozen men during that time in my life, and had sex with fewer than half. Others I texted or talked with, which sometimes felt nearly as intimate.

So you dont want to hurt her, but you lie to her instead. Personally, Id rather know.

What I Wish My Husband Knew About Menopause

After decades of experience, your husband is probably accustomed to how your menstrual cycle affects you physically and emotionally. But when that childbearing capacity turns into menopause, both of you are on unfamiliar ground.

Simply put, menopause becomes official when you’ve gone 12 months without a period, according to Healthline. It typically occurs when women are in their 40s and 50s, with the average age being 51.

Of course, the specific symptoms of menopause can vary greatly among individual women, according to Dr. Nathan R. Bertoldo, an OB/GYN at MountainStar’s Cache Valley Medical Group in Logan.

Keep reading to learn what you and your husband can expect as you transition into menopause.

Also Check: Which Of The Following Best Describes Possible Symptoms Of Menopause

Tip #3 She May Tell You Things

Dude, one man told us. be ready. You are going to hear some stuff. Discharge, heavy flow, boobs always sore, soaking through her pajamas with night sweats. For us guys, it can be hard to hear. But you gotta listen. As hard as it is for us to hear it, shes actually living it, and thats a whole lot harder.

Listening when she needs to complain or just be frank about whats happening is often the very best thing you can do. As someone who watches hospital shows with one hand over her face, I understand squeamish, but reacting negatively to her horrible menopause stories of heavy flow only embarrasses her and continues the stigma around womens bodies and their natural functions.

Its not a disease its biology, one wise man said. Youre not going to catch menopause like the flu. The more you listen, the more shell tell, and the more youll understand. And that makes it easier on both of you.

Its Going To Be A Long Haul

Three Thing Women MUST Tell Men About Menopause

Unlike puberty, menopause takes a long time to arrive. This stage of getting to the point of menopause where menstruating stops for good is called the perimenopause stage and it can really drag on. Anywhere from a year to 12 years! So, you have to be prepared for a lot of up and downs, uncharacteristic behaviour and physiological changes during this time.

Also Check: Heightened Sense Of Smell Perimenopause

Get A Meno Transformation:

Since I have noticed numerous my colleagues wilting at this stage of life, I decided to head full-tilt into itliterally. We accompanied an adult meno-mentors example and purchased a Harley-Davidson. I acquired a treadmill and started really utilizing it. Also, we revamped my wardrobe, makeup products, and hairstyle, peeling down some added age and infusing myself personally with full confidence. And I also ended up beingnt timid about informing my better half and household everything I had been going through. This aided them be a little more supportive.

I purposely deleted energy-robbing duties from my calendar. We put naps to my personal to-do listing, and bulked up on complex carbohydrates and reduced fat proteins, falling ten weight in the act. But most significantly, we wanted pals both old and new. Normally family who had vibrant, good thinking, yet a good idea religious prices that assisted myself keep in mind I nonetheless might make an eternal influence for Gods empire. They performednt matter if I found myself peri-menopausal!

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