Facts About Male Midlife Crisis Stages
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
- This article provides insight into midlife crisis as it affects men, and provides solutions to how a man can overcome their midlife crisis.
In our earlier article on What is a midlife crisis for a woman? We unpacked what a midlife crisis looks and feels like for women, and how it can be handled to come out stronger. If youre a middle-aged woman, the article is a definite must-read. We guarantee that you will love it.
In this sister article, we unpack the male midlife crisis stages and what midlife crisis looks like for men, and importantly how to overcome the midlife crisis as a man.
He Has Little Interest In Spending Time With You
For couples who had a nonexistent sex life before reaching midlife, less nookie over 50 doesn’t necessarily mean hubby is in crisis. But if he seems to be struggling with his self-esteem or is generally unhappy, sex might become an additional burden to him. On the other hand, if he’s having an affair, he might actually get friskier with you so you don’t suspect. Keep an eye out for major changes one way or another. And, again, ask your husband about anything that’s confusing you. The experts agree that good communication skills are important to any marriage and are especially useful during a midlife crisishis or yours!
He Is Suddenly Making Impetuous Decisions About Money And/or His Career
Pay attention if your husband suddenly loses interest in his career, wants a different one or splurged on that red Ferrari he always dreamed of driving . These actions are indicative of your man’s sudden desire to live life to its fullest. He’s probably thinking, “Maybe I can make up for all the things I let slip by in my youth.” It’s a sure sign of a midlife crisis. But this symptom is easier to overcome as a couple than some of the others. Midlife adviser Robert L. Adams says that men and women simply misunderstand each other. “Often, husbands fear they will only upset their wives if they raise a new idea before they are convinced it’s a good direction to move in,” says Adams. “In other words, what appears ‘impetuous’ to the wife is actually the result of a long thought-process on the part of the husband.” This is the type of gripe that requires patience and communication. Try to understand why this career change, major purchase or investment was important to him and how he came to this conclusion. Then discuss the matter rationally.
Also Check: How To Lose Weight During Menopause Uk
Mentally Pack Away Your Marriage
I read some great advice a little while back. In your mind, lovingly pack away your marriage in a beautiful box wrapped in a ribbon and place it on the top shelf of your mental closet. You are going to put it away safe for now. This allows you to deal with the current difficult situation. If things change you can go back, bring it down, dust if off and work on it again. But for now, put it away for safekeeping.
The Joys Of Male Menopause And The Midlife Crisis
They say there are mood swings, hot flashes, weight gain, and even thinning hair. But they are not the only ones suffering from a change in hormones. Men suffer through a hormone change as well and face some problems that are similar to womens. But they also experience issues completely different.
The difference between actual menopause and male menopause, according to the Mayo Clinic, is that menopause happens in a very short amount of time for women. Their hormone levels drop off dramatically and quickly. With male menopause, they state that it happens gradually over time as we age.
Want To Beat Depression For Yourself Or A Friend
Dr. William Nathan Upshaw is the Medical Director of NeuroSpa TMS®. Since receiving training from the inventor of TMS Therapy nearly a decade ago, Dr. Upshaw has been a pioneer, champion and outspoken advocate of TMS Therapy. Dr. Upshaws holistic experience in the field has transformed him into Floridas leading advocate for widespread accessibility to TMS Therapy.
Aging is a process that can sometimes feel uncomfortable while we go through profound, abrupt changes throughout our lives. A midlife crisis isnt a psychological disorder per se, but its still an uncomfortable period of transition between 40 and 55, although theres some variability in the timing of midlife crises. Men and women experience midlife crises somewhat differently.
It is common for people to mix up the symptoms of a midlife crisis with the symptoms of depression. However, the most differentiating factor is the frequency in which these feelings arise. The difference between depression and a midlife crisis comes down to whether the symptoms are present on a daily basis. A person who is experiencing a midlife crisis may have periods of time in which they are feeling fine, whereas a depressed person feels down and experiences the symptoms on a daily basis. Depression is a chronic, biologically-based mood disorder, while a midlife crisis is not.
What are the Symptoms of a Midlife Crisis?
Consider the following;symptoms;of a midlife crisis common to both men and women:
Do Husbands Ever Come Back After Midlife Crisis
You may have thought your marriage was fine until your husband dropped the bomb that he is unhappy and is leaving. This is a common symptom of the male midlife crisis that leaves the wife reeling and wondering what the hell happened.;
Men may enter a midlife crisis around 45 to 65 years of age causing marriage problems. Many men pass through this psychological crisis and resume their normal married life. However, others return to their normal personalities but realise they are no longer happy in the marriage and obtain a divorce.
Coping with a husband who is going through a midlife crisis and throwing grenades into your marriage is incredibly hard to deal with. It can be an unbelievably painful and soul-destroying experience.
You are left wondering, do husbands ever come back after midlife crisis?.
However, I want you to know that you are not alone and there are things you can do to cope and thrive. Understanding what is going on is the first part of the battle.;
Knowledge is power
You May Like: How Do You Get Rid Of Menopause Belly
Differences Between The Mid
Time and again in newspaper articles and television programmes, and even medical debates, these two conditions are written and talked about as though they were one and the same. They are not, and this confusion prevents either condition from being recognised or treated. Let’s run through a check-list to spell out the differences:
Age – The Mid-life Crisis usually is confined to the ages of 35 to 45, while the Male Menopause is characteristicaly 45 to 55, as with the female menopause. However, if there was previous damage to the testes, such as from mumps, alcohol or vasectomy, the Male Menopause may happen earlier.
Childhood – A disturbed, unsupportive childhood, starved of love and affection, especially if accompanied by physical or mental abuse, is much more common in the background of someone experiencing the Mid-life Crisis.
Triggers – The death or serious illness of a parent or close friend is a common trigger of the Mid-life Crisis, as such events bring you face to face with your own mortality. They make you feel that you are next in the firing-line, which brings up thoughts and feelings about the meaning of your life, and your past, present and future goals and achievements.
During the Menopause, you are more likely to feel too weary to want to make any changes, and too tired to even dream about doing so. Because of this lethargy, your marriage and business relationships may be falling to pieces around you, but you feel powerless to do anything about it.
Stage 2 Storm Clouds Are Gathering
In this stage, the storm clouds are gathering. Your husband is brewing with simmering feelings of resentment.;
Its possible that in his head he mulls over the obligations of the relationship or marriage. He may resent his sacrifices, for example, whilst raising kids. He may think hes the only one who has made such sacrifices.
For example, he may feel that he was the breadwinner whilst you stayed home and that this has trapped him in a job he hates.;
This is the point when blame starts to rear its head. He may blame you for the problems in the marriage or how he feels. I will address this in more detail later in the post but for now, know that its not your fault.
The sports car stage
Recommended Reading: How Do You Know If You Are Going Through Menopause
Comparing Yourself With Others Incessantly
What starts as self-doubting in the initial stages turns into an obsession in the later days, in this stage. Gone are the days when you only thought of yourself and why you werent good enough. In this symptom, you will tend to compare yourself with almost every other woman around you .
Why am I not as successful, as tall, as youthful-looking or as sexy as her? This is the constant thought in your mind and you will start developing an inferiority complex because of this negativity in your mind.
What Does A Midlife Crisis Mean
Just as we said in our sister article on this topic, there is no scientific definition or explanation for a midlife crisis and what it means. Scientists are not exactly convinced that there is such a thing as a midlife crisis.
And the scientists are not alone. When it comes especially to men and their midlife crisis, they seem to get a bad rap from society. So bad that according to one survey in 2015, about 60% out of 1,100 American adults surveyed believed that married men just used it as an excuse for all the bad behavior they want to get up to in their middle age.
Men, No One Is Buying Your Mid-Life Crisis’ Source: The Atlantic
And yet, the reality remains that there are men and women that go through this experience. In an earlier poll in the year 2000, as much as 25% of men aged 49 53 had reported going through or experiencing a midlife crisis.
Age of Americans reporting a midlife crisis according to a year 2000 research paper. Source: Research Gate
What then does it mean when it is said that a man is going through a midlife crisis?
And so, if a man you know or your male loved one tells you he is experiencing a midlife crisis, that is what it means. It means that he is starting to feel a little less confident about himself and his life in general.
Read Also: Do Ovaries Hurt When Going Through Menopause
The Effects Of Male Menopause
Here are some of the ways this decline in sex hormones can affect male health:
- Emotions: for many men their hormones are released in higher levels when they are at the peak of their ability, particularly when they are performing well in most areas of their life. When there are changes in leadership roles or employment, the stress of this can reduce normal hormone production. This can happen apart from other age-related hormone changes. The combination of stress and gradual decline can lead to greater variation in emotions, as well as less ability to concentrate, and feelings of sadness. If there is a family history of depression, there can be epigenetic effects that add to these feelings.
- Sexual Function: There can be reduced ability to achieve erection, and reduced desire for sex. This can be complicated by other health problems such as age and lifestyle related cardio-vascular disease. The testes may also shrink.
- Sleep Disturbance: This can take various forms, depending upon other stress factors that regularly happen in life. Some men become sleepier, while others have insomnia and suffer from lack of sleep.
- Various:;Other physical health problems may occur, particularly if exercise patterns are dropping off.
You Make Some Sudden And Serious Decisions That Are Uncalled For
One of the serious symptoms of midlife crisis in a woman is when she makes rash decisions that she regrets later. It is this stage when a woman feels uncared for. Therefore, even a slight quarrel with her spouse can urge her to break her relationship totally. Sometimes, a stressful situation at work can compel her to quit her job with immediate effect.
Some other rash and serious decisions that a woman experiencing this crisis can take are hurting herself, trying to take her life, physically abusing her child or someone younger to her, having an affair with another man to prove a point to her spouse, etc.
These symptoms are quite dangerous and are mostly visible only in the advanced stage of midlife crisis in a woman, especially if the crisis is not detected and treated in the early stages.
Don’t Miss: How To Relieve Menopause Symptoms Naturally
Male Midlife Crisis Stages
There are strictly speaking no stages to a midlife crisis in the sense that stages are to be understood. How men deal with a midlife crisis would vary from one man to another, and would depend a lot on their personality.
Depending on his personality, he may go through the following stages:
1. The stage of denial.
At this stage, he is still trying to be a man because of the false societal expectations that he is not supposed to feel sad or down about his life. And so when he is going through this stage, any discussions you may bring up about the issue will be met with vehement denials and defensiveness.
2. The stage of acting out.
At this stage, he has accepted to himself that he is going through this phase. He may not admit it to you, but he has admitted it to himself. And in admitting it to himself, he has also decided that he will act out how he feels and damn the consequences. He would not be bothered at all about how his decisions or actions may affect anyone else because he is only interested in making himself happy as a way of dealing with the feelings of incompleteness he feels.
3. The mellowing down stage and/or depressive stage.
He Is Overly Nostalgic And Constantly Reminiscing About His Youth Or His First Love
At midlife, some men start to ponder “what if,” and they question their past decisions. The unfortunate thing about nostalgia, though, is that everyone seems to see the past through rose-colored glasses. Of course, you know that your husband has no idea what would have really happened if he had married his high school girlfriend , but now he can dream about what it would have been like and chances are, he only remembers the good parts of their relationship. This fantasy feels good to him because even if he loves you, he can leave the kids, the chores and the bills out of his daydreams about his first love. But don’t worry. This make-believe world is only dangerous if he starts to pursue a relationship with the woman in question or pulls wild stunts with his old fraternity brothers in the name of the good ol’ days.
Francesca Di Meglio is a contributing writer for iVillage. Follow her on .
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.
Also Check: Does Early Menopause Mean Early Death
Lack Of Motivation To Carry On With Your Daily Life
Do you hate the idea of waking up to witness another day in your life? Do you have difficulties in carrying out even simple activities such as eating, sleeping and bathing?
If yes, you are bored with your life and dont find any silver lining that could motivate you. You feel an enormous sense of loss in your heart, but you dont know what exactly you have lost.
In short, when the usual and routine activities in life begin to overwhelm you, it is high time you should take things under your control. You have to look for new avenues to keep yourself motivated and divert your mind from the negative energy that you are currently living in.
Learning a new language, picking up a hobby, teaching kids, etc. are great activities that would keep you occupied.
Diagnosing And Treating Andropause
As mentioned, what is now recognized as andropause was commonly brushed off by medical professionals in the past as simply a middle-age crisis. This caused many men to go undiagnosed with the associated hormonal imbalance of aging. To make matters worse, men are often less willing to seek out medical treatment for any type of ailment, including those that involve emotional instability.
Thankfully, these days andropause has become more and more recognized as a treatable medical condition. In order to complete a diagnosis, a medical professional will meet with the patient to discuss symptoms and a medical history. From there, blood will be drawn to be tested for testosterone levels. These tests are usually completed within the same visit and results are often back within approximately 20 minutes.
If a man is found to be dealing with a lack of testosterone due to andropause, supplemental testosterone can be prescribed. In some cases, these supplements can even be administered via a lozenge for fast, easy and efficient absorption.
Once again, andropause is considered to be a chronic condition that will continue to affect men throughout their lives once hormone levels start falling. As a result, it would be a good idea to have a regular checkup with your physician regarding hormone treatments each year to ensure that your dosage is correct.