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What Husbands Should Know About Menopause

Husbands And Menopause: How It Can Affect Your Relationship

Husband filed for divorce after hearing about my menopause

With all of the physical and emotional symptoms that this life change can bring, it can significantly impact your relationship with your partner. When it comes to husbands and menopause, men are ill prepared to handle these changes with a partner unless they have experienced living with someone else who has gone through it.

This is a time of life when women dont feel particularly good about themselves, and this lower self esteem can translate into mood swings, irritability, and uncertainty. In addition, fluctuating hormones in women can cause them to lose interest in sex, making it difficult to maintain connection and intimacy throughout.

This hormonal fluctuation can also contribute to vaginal dryness, making intercourse downright painful for women. Staying committed to educating your partner about these changes and communicating your feelings throughout this trying period will help the two of you to understand where each of you are coming from in hopes that you can find stronger common ground to stand on together.

What Your Partner Needs To Know About Menopause

What do men think of perimenopause and menopause?

Does your husband understand menopause? I mean, really understand menopause? Chances are that he just thinks it’s that time of YOUR life when you get to say goodbye periods and PMS. Hello, sex all month long!

My husband, David, and most of the men who responded to my recent questionnaire were completely in the dark about what to expect when the loves of their lives hit perimenopause and menopause. Boy, talk about being “blindsided”!

When our relationship was hit with a torrent of hot flashes, tremendous mood swings and sleepless and sexless nights, he was more than flummoxed.

Why was I so moody? Why did everything he do upset me so? Why didn’t I want to be intimate with him anymore? These changes can be so confusing to the men in our lives. My husband wasn’t sure if my feelings for him had changed or if he had done something to incite my bitchy demeanor. Either way, he feared it would never go away. He wanted our relationship back, but had no idea as to what the cause or cure was.

For him and for most of the men I interviewed, dealing with and trying to understand perimenopause and menopause is more challenging than PMS. “It doesn’t come and go every 28 days or so… once you’re in, there’s no turning back, so you can’t rationalize away the symptoms,” David says. “You can’t just dismiss the symptoms of menopause as ‘it’s just that time of month’ and wait for day eight to roll around.”

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Hot Flashes Make You Feel Like Youre On Fire

Imagine standing there, minding your own business, and suddenly feeling like your entire body is engulfed in flames. That’s what hot flashes are like and they’re no fun. At least half of women experience hot flashes around the time of menopause. While women experience hot flashes for seven years on average, about 10% of women can experience hot flashes for more than 10 years, according to Minkin. Since hot flashes can make it hard to sleep, it can help to keep your bedroom cool at night.

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A Healthy Lifestyle Can Make It Better

What Men Should Know About Menopause

Eating healthy, following a fixed routine, getting regular exercise at least 4 to 5 times a week, 30 mins per session can make a world of a difference in the way manifestation of menopause symptoms. So, one perimenopause advice for husbands to live by would be to help your partner focus on their wellness.

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What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Menopause

Men want to fix everything, one woman told her group. I just want him to hold me and tell me he still loves me.

Her sentiments ring true for many women. There is no easy fix for every problem that vexes the menopausal woman.

While some things can be done to alleviate some physical symptoms, its the emotional effects that have womenand menso bewildered. Combine these twothe physical changes and the emotional ups and downsand you have a situation that can frustrate a marriage and challenge a womans identity as a sexual being.

For married women, the comments below will resonate. Further on, well see how the mental transition from the childbearing age to the grandchildren-rearing stage does not changebut rather enhancesfemininity.

More than having their menopause problems fixed, women want to know that their husbands will stay connected to them, or begin connecting with them, and walk through this stage of life together.

Dont give a lot of advice, another woman responded when asked about what she tells her husband she needs. I want to be able to say how I feelwithout feeling like I have to take his advice.

This woman may sound ungrateful, but she is only frustrated. Like so many husbands, her man wants to help. Yet his attempts to fix her only frustrate her.

Husbands can communicate their support by being willing to read a book or an article that explains menopause. They dont need to be experts, but their interest is very encouraging.

A Letter To Your Husband Explaining Menopause

Ladies, no matter how hard they try, many men will not be able to relate or fully understand the impact that menopause can have on our lives. If you feel like banging your head on the wall because your husband is making light of your hot flushes, or doesnt understand why you cant control your outbursts, this letter is for him

Dear beloved,

Unless youre actually going through or have been through menopause, its not something you will ever understand 100%. But thats okay, we can accept that because the same could be said for many other life experiences. You can try to have empathy, but its not until youre actually going through something that you finally get it. Fortunately for you, this is something you will never have to deal with. However, despite this, what you can try to do is understand that for many women, menopause is an extremely difficult, uncomfortable part of our lives. Its a challenge to remain sane and function at the same level as we did before. Thats why its so important we have your full support.

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You Can Make A Difference

Diane says: “Recognise the symptoms. Offer support. Sometimes its just listening, just being there, sometimes its asking: ‘What do you need from me?’ If your partner cant see the way forward, you can help with that but ask, dont tell.

“Its also about recognising this is not a change that the woman has control over. Hormones run us all. Once those hormones start fluctuating, they start going off on a path of their own – you dont have control over it. If you have noticed that your wife or partner is more emotional or quicker to snap, rather than snapping back, stop, maybe walk away, just ask yourself why this is happening.

“I’ve seen statistics saying that one in ten women quit work during menopause. So, if youre a man who manages women, its about having some kind of supportive pathway in place for a member of staff whos going through it.”

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Coping With Mood Swings And Other Menopause Symptoms

This is a time when real amounts of understanding and patience can be tested. Its useful for partners to recognise that the mood swings, distress, anxiety etc are not really anything to do with them. Being there emotionally is a skill that requires individuals to suspend their own emotional needs, not to try and fix it but to simply be there. Its more than empathy.

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What Every Woman Should Know about Menopause Treatment ...

It’s useful if friends and family can be supportive at this time, and to do this they need to be informed, sympathetic and supportive.

I had a hysterectomy 15 yrs ago and was put on HRT for a short time then the doctor stopped it. After some time I was crawling up the walls, my family hated my mood swings and I begged my GP to put me back on HRT. He eventually did and now I have enough energy to play with my grandchildren and my husband likes me again.

Im 49 yrs old and started with hot flushes. When they come, I get 4-5 a day and if Im at work I have to get my little fan out which annoys my colleagues I just have to get cool …

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Learn About Pubertys Evil Bigger Sister: Menopause

The best perimenopause advice for husbands? Learn the whys as to how she can go from wanting to strangle you with the vacuum cleaner cord one second, to crying on your shoulder the next. From the hot flushes, to the personality changes. Finding out as much as you can about menopause will help you stay ahead of the game. Youll quickly realise that symptoms such as mood swings and hot flushes are not born out of cold air and there is far more going on.

Wed Love To Hear From Husbands And Menopause Experiences

So, partners, wed love to hear from you how youre helping the women in your life manage menopause. What resources are your go-tos, what information is missing? With menopause still so taboo, are you even able to have conversations with women on the subject? Please share your thoughts in the comments below or on or . And by the way, guys? Thanks.

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Sexual Wellbeing And Intimacy

What every woman should know about menopause

Women can experience a loss of sexual desire or sex drive due to hormone changes that take place during menopause. They may find they no longer want to have sex and that can be very upsetting for them and/or their partner. Other symptoms that can affect desire for sex can include:

  • vaginal dryness and discomfort that makes penetrative sex uncomfortable or painful
  • night sweats that affect sleep and energy for sex
  • emotional changes that can make someone feel too stressed or upset for sex

There are treatment options that help ease or manage some of these symptoms. However, if you are supporting your partner who is going through the menopause it’s just as important to ask how they are feeling and what they are experiencing so you can provide the type of support they need and want.

There are also a lot of ways to show love and care towards a partner. Regularly talking about different ways to feel close to each other and spending time together more generally is important.

It is still possible to get pregnant when perimenopausal, so its important that you continue conversations about contraception should you need it.

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Vaginal Dryness And Loss Of Libido

These two symptoms often go hand-in-hand and are rooted in the drop in estrogen levels. In some cases, vaginal dryness and a lack of lubrication can cause a subsequent reduction in libido. If your partner is experiencing both of these symptoms, it’s important to take your time with sexual intercourse and ensure that they are fully prepared for penetration. In severe cases suggest using natural lubricants to alleviate the sensation or find other ways to be intimate. Episodes of vaginal dryness and loss of libido may negatively affect a woman’s self-confidence, so it is important to demonstrate your continued affection and support.

Tip #4 Duck And Cover Is Not A Relationship Strategy

The stereotype is for men to just keep their heads down and wait for the storm to blow over. But the hormone fluctuations of perimenopause and menopause can last for years. Know yourself and play to your strengths, one man suggested. If youre an open-and-empathetic guy, then really listen. If youre more of a fix-it guy like me, ask her for actual things you can do to help, then do those. Research hormone therapy, put ceiling fans in every room of the house, be ready to leave the party early if she sweats through her clothes . Just dont give advice, and dont ignore the problem and hope it goes away.

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Symptoms Of Menopause That Men Need To Know About

Most women going through menopause typically experience many uncomfortable symptoms. These are generally triggered by the hormonal imbalance that the menopause transition and its changes occasion. Living with menopause symptoms can be trying for both the woman experiencing them and their partners by association. Read on for advice on how to support your partner through their menopausal transition.

Important Things My Husband Needs To Know About Me Right Now

What Husbands Need to Know About Menopause

You need to speak up if you feel like Im over the line!

You are most likely wishing that there was a list of things you could gift your husband with some talking points that will help him to understand what you are going through. Rest assured show him this article, and hell not only appreciate your strength and tenacity, hell likely have a deeper understanding of what you are going through. Here are some things well tell your husband together about this time of life:

1. I may have lost interest in sex right now, but its not about you.

I have fluctuating hormones, and this decreased estrogen production makes me less responsive to your advances. Right now, sex for me can be downright painful, which is another turnoff. Dont worry, there are some things we can do together to spice up our love life and create intimacy in other ways that dont make me so uncomfortable.

2. I can be an emotional mess right now, plagued with feelings of self pity and doubt, and although I dont expect you to join me there, I do expect that you understand that I must ride this wave and acknowledge that these feelings are biochemically valid and that they, too, will pass..just like the days of my youth and beauty .

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Dear Men: 8 Things You Must Know About Menopause

  • Pin

Angela Mager is doing us all a big favor by sharing this open letter to men everywhere about Menopause. Read more about womens health on her websiteMood swingsHot flashes Night sweatsLow LibidoVaginal drynessAnxietyForgetfulnessA new era

Angela Mager, RN, HC

I am an RN and a cardiac wellness coach. I work with women at risk for heart disease to help them finally succeed at creating a healthy lifestyle that they love, so that they can feel energetic, grow confident, and love their life.

The List Of Symptoms Can Go On And On And On

We started our conversation with Louise taking us through what happens during menopause.

Most of us go through the menopause as a natural process. Our hormones deplete because our eggs run out in our ovaries. And when they run out, hormones associated with them go down, she explained.

Some women have their menopause forced on them, Louise continued.

For some, menopause happens as a result of a medical procedure, such as the surgical removal of the ovaries, or certain drugs or treatments.

The average age in the U.K. is 51, but around 1 in 100 women under the age of 40 have an early menopause. My youngest patient is 14, my oldest is 92, so it can affect all women all ages, Louise said.

And what about perimenopause? Louise told us that perimenopause can last several years, a decade, or even more.

symptoms can start sometimes just for a few days before each period, and then it can be a week or 2 weeks, and then all the time. Its quite a transient process that often worsens with time, she said.

She listed the range of symptoms that a person can experience:

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