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How To Support Your Wife Through Menopause

The Importance Of Prioritizing Your Relationship Right Now

Supporting Wife Through Menopause – Q&A Saturday

Women should be compassionate when viewing their physical symptoms and emotional ups and downs.

These changes dont have to spell trouble for your relationship with your husband; partnerships go through seasons and transitions, and this is just one of those times when you learn to weather changes together.

Communicating through it all is extremely important. A husband or partner can be supportive and compassionate while watching the various stages and moments that this time brings. Asking questions in an attempt to understand while extending a little grace every now and then will help a woman realize that her husband is trying to connect with her.;

Women should be compassionate when viewing their physical symptoms and emotional ups and downs, knowing that although it can be difficult at times, there will be an end to this process eventually.

When Does Menopause Occur

Although the average age of menopause is 51, menopause can actually happen any time from the 30s to the mid-50s or later. Women who smoke and are underweight tend to have an earlier menopause, while women who are overweight often have a later menopause. Generally, a woman tends to have menopause at about the same age as her mother did.

Menopause can also happen for reasons other than natural reasons. These include:

  • Premature menopause. Premature menopause may happen when there is ovarian failure before the age of 40. It may be associated with smoking, radiation exposure, chemotherapeutic drugs, or surgery that impairs the ovarian blood supply. Premature ovarian failure is also called primary ovarian insufficiency.

  • Surgical menopause. Surgical menopause may follow the removal of one or both ovaries, or radiation of the pelvis, including the ovaries, in premenopausal women. This results in an abrupt menopause. These women often have more severe menopausal symptoms than if they were to have menopause naturally.

About Menopausal Symptoms And Cancer Treatment

Some cancer treatments can affect the way the ovaries work. This can cause an early menopause for some women.

Before menopause, the ovaries produce the hormones oestrogen and progesterone. These control a womans monthly cycle . During menopause, periods gradually stop as the ovaries stop producing these hormones. For most women, this usually happens naturally between the ages of 45 and 55.

Different cancer treatments can cause an early menopause. These include:

Hormonal treatments for breast cancer may also cause menopausal symptoms or a temporary menopause.

Your cancer doctor and specialist nurse can explain if the treatment;you are having is likely to cause an early menopause.

The change in hormone levels can cause symptoms, including:

  • hot flushes and sweats
  • loss of interest in sex
  • difficulty sleeping
  • needing to pass urine more often
  • weight gain
  • loss of confidence
  • poor concentration.

Most women have some of these symptoms. The symptoms can vary from mild to more severe. For some women, they last for many years. The symptoms are sometimes worse if menopause has happened suddenly because of cancer treatments.

You may need;blood tests;to find out if treatment has caused an early menopause.

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Learn About Pubertys Evil Bigger Sister: Menopause

The best perimenopause advice for husbands? Learn the whys as to how she can go from wanting to strangle you with the vacuum cleaner cord one second, to crying on your shoulder the next. From the hot flushes, to the personality changes. Finding out as much as you can about menopause will help you stay ahead of the game. Youll quickly realise that symptoms such as mood swings and hot flushes are not born out of cold air and there is far more going on.

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For women, the menopause is a time of profound change, both physically and emotionally. But what of the husbands and partners they share their lives with? How does this critical period in a womans life affect them?

Its a subject that touches millions, but is rarely spoken about. Until now. In her new book, psychotherapist Sue Brayne persuaded a group of men, all married to women who were going, or had gone, through the menopause, to open up about their experiences.

Their testimony shows how a womans menopause can cut right to the heart of a mans sense of masculinity.

Difficult time: The changes a woman experiences during the menopause can affect both her and her partner

My father was unable and unwilling to express his emotions, so I grew up believing that all men were emotional cripples.

I now know this isnt true, but it took me years to appreciate that when it comes to life, love and loss, in their different way men suffer just as much as women do.

Women have each other to moan to or to pick up the pieces when our worlds fall apart. But men dont have that innate capacity.

They may mumble to their friends over a pint about something thats bothering them, but its rarely an open or honest conversation. So I was amazed when I managed to persuade a group of husbands to share their experiences of their wives menopause.

Most of them had never spoken about these things to anyone, but they were desperate for an outlet for their fears.

Also Check: Is It Normal To Have Menstrual Cramps During Menopause

Benefits And Risks Of Hormone Replacement Therapy

The main benefit of HRT is that it can help relieve most menopausal symptoms, including hot flushes, brain fog, joint pains, mood swings and vaginal dryness.

It can also help prevent thinning of the bones, which can lead to fractures . Osteoporosis is more common after the menopause.

Some types of HRT can slightly increase the risk of breast cancer and blood clots in some women. You need to discuss whether you have any risk factors with a doctor or nurse.

Evidence says that the risks of HRT are small and usually outweighed by the benefits.

Your GP can give you more information about the risks and benefits of HRT to help you decide whether or not you want to take it.

Perimenopause And Marriage Problems

My wife and I now laugh at this.

We’ll see articles on some age being tied to the worst period in a person’s life.; The most likely time for feeling down.; The age tied to most marriage problems.

We’ll ask each other to guess the age.

The answer is always.”47″.

Funny thing is that it’s usually spot on.

My wife is very open about her journey.; The more women talk to each other, the better.

Because they DON’T now.

One woman we know from school came back with this response, “Yea…perimenopause was the cause of my divorce”.

Another one said, “He slept on the couch for a year back then”.

It’s rough on a marriage if you don’t know the chemistry shift above.

As a husband, you just think “Why is she being such a #$#$*”?

It’s shocking really because no one has warned you.

All of a sudden, she’s a different person and a much nastier or fragile version of the woman you’ve known for years.

In fact:;

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Menopause Symptom: Problems Sleeping

Many women in menopause find it hard to sleep through the night. Low levels of progesterone can make it hard to fall and stay asleep. Low estrogen levels can also cause hot flashes that make you sweat while you sleep. This is sometimes called night sweats. Many menopausal women get urinary symptoms that make them get up several times during sleep to urinate. You may also feel more tired than usual during the day.

Passing Urine More Often

Wife Doesn’t Want To Make Love After Menopause

During menopause, you may pass urine more often. You may also have some urine leakage and be more likely to get urine infections .

It is important to drink enough fluid to keep your bladder healthy. Try to drink at least 1½ litres a day. If you do not drink enough, your urine will become concentrated and irritate the bladder. You will also be more likely to develop a urine infection.

If you have problems with urine leakage, doing regular pelvic floor exercises can help. These exercises strengthen the muscles that hold urine in the bladder. Your specialist nurse or doctor can explain how to do these exercises, or you can order a leaflet from the;Bladder and Bowel Community.

Speak to your doctor if you develop symptoms of a urine infection. Symptoms include cloudy or smelly urine and pain or discomfort when passing urine.

Also Check: Does Tubal Ligation Cause Premature Menopause

What Is Menopause What Is Perimenopause

Menopause is the point in a woman’s life when she has not had her period for 1 year.

For most women, menopause happens around age 50. But every woman’s body has its own time line. Some women stop having periods in their mid-40s. Others continue well into their 50s.

Perimenopause is the process of change that leads up to menopause. It can start as early as your late 30s or as late as your early 50s. How long perimenopause lasts varies, but it usually lasts from 2 to 8 years. You may have irregular periods or other symptoms during this time.

Menopause is a natural part of growing older. You don’t need treatment for it unless your symptoms bother you. But it’s a good idea to learn all you can about menopause. Knowing what to expect can help you stay as healthy as possible during this new phase of your life.

Fear And Anger Life Stages

These are just two of the emotions felt by both partners at this time in a relationship. There may be other contributory factors adding to these emotions, such as empty nest, retirement, ill-health and also many women may be looking after elderly parents as well as dealing with their own fears.

I didnt know what was happening to me.I wanted to get out of my skin.

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Whats The Big Deal About A Hot Flush

Please let me step in here and explain that a hot flush is not the same as feeling a bit warm on a summers day, or stepping into a piping hot shower when youve come out the cold. A hot flush can leave you feeling as though your entire body has been set alight! Just imagine that for one minute. Although I might look only slightly flustered, I actually want to jump directly into the nearest industrial-sized freezer and stay there.

Please try not to tell us that menopause is ruining your life or distressing you in any way. You might feel fed up with our constant ups and downs, but imagine how we feel? We can completely understand that our outbursts and chaotic emotions are not fun to live with, but its not something we have control over. Making us feel even worse about it does not fix the problem.

Thankfully, I have stumbled across LadyCare; a natural device designed to reduce or completely eliminate up to 24 different symptoms . This device has been proven effective in up to 71% of women. I am hoping that within 3 months of wearing my LadyCare device 24/7, I will feel like the old me.

Yours forever.

You Need A Sense Of Control And Volition

Pin on Menopause

You need to know and feel that you matter, that you have an impact on your surroundings and your relationships.

Since theres so much in life we have no control over, be on the lookout for things where your positive input can make a difference. And, of course, your attitude and actions regarding the well-being of your relationship, can make a huge difference!

Now your partner or spouse is going through the menopause, you could, for example, aim to be extra generous with your love and attention, understanding and forgiving.

In addition, talking about and setting and honouring each others boundaries does a lot to cultivate respect. Chances are that over the years youve piled on the assumptions without having a meaningful conversation about each others needs and wants.

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What Does All This Mean For Your Relationship Or Marriage

In addition to any pre-existing marital problems, you may also have been dealing with other challenges.

You might be caring for elderly parents, dealing with problems with the kids, have children flying the nest , financial worries, job dissatisfaction, a feeling of being stuck, physical or mental illness, etc.

And now, your partner or wife might also appear a little more vulnerable.

Therefore, the two of you are likely to need a little more structure. That structure could provide a sense of safety, security, containment and control to prevent you both from becoming overwhelmed by it all.

Lets look, therefore, at how you can increase your resilience by meeting your basic needs . Well home in on the menopause specifically further down.

Menopause And Sexless Marriage: Tackling The Predicament

At the twilight of your life both as a person and a couple, Menopause sets in as natures way of telling a woman that its no longerworth the risk to bear a child at that age. But, is it worthwhile to be in menopause and sexless marriage at the same time?

Now, there are cases of women getting pregnant during menopause, and modern medical science has procedures such as IVF to make it possible.

Pregnancies aside, is it possible to for a couple to have sex during and after menopause? Yes. Why not.

Menopause and sexless marriage doesnt really connect, or does it?

Recommended Reading: What Causes Hot Flushes Apart From The Menopause

Guys’ Guide To Menopause

Learn what goes on during a woman’s menopause — and how to help your partner.

Menopause isn’t just a rough time for women — it’s also hard for the men who love them. If your spouse or partner is in the throes of “the change,” unpleasant symptoms like hot flashes and mood swings will probably affect you and your relationship.

In a recent survey, 38% of men said their wife’s night sweats and insomnia related to menopause affected intimacy, and they cited their partner’s lack of sleep or poor sleep as the main reason.

You may not be able to prevent hot flashes, but you can help the woman in your life get through this trying time — and preserve and strengthen your relationship.

Know what to expect. The average age of menopause in the U.S. is 51, but many women start to get symptoms in their early 40s. They can begin as early as 7 years before a woman’s final period and last 5 years or more afterward — that’s some 12 years of disruptive symptoms, like hot flashes, night sweats, and insomnia.

What causes them? “Changes in hormone levels during menopause can affect the body’s ability to regulate its core temperature,” says Rebecca Brightman, MD, OB/GYN, assistant clinical professor at Mount Sinai Hospital. Some women may also have vaginal bleeding at unexpected times, vaginal dryness, and pain during sex.

What Causes Menopause

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Normal changes in your reproductive and hormone systems cause menopause. As your egg supply ages, your body begins to ovulate less often. During this time, your hormone levels go up and down unevenly , causing changes in your periods and other symptoms. In time, estrogen and progesterone levels drop enough that the menstrual cycle stops.

Some medical treatments can cause your periods to stop before age 40. Having your ovaries removed, having radiation therapy, or having chemotherapy can trigger early menopause.

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What Does Estrogen Do

The ovaries are the primary producers of estrogen. Estrogen triggers female sex characteristics like breasts and broader hips during puberty. This collection of hormones is also responsible for regulating the menstrual cycle throughout the childbearing years and initiating lactation after pregnancy.

Estrogen also plays a role in bone health by working with vital nutrients to rebuild bone structures. Skin, hair, mucous membranes, pelvic muscles, and the brain are also impacted by estrogen.

The Menopause Is Affecting Our Relationship How Do I Talk To My Partner

Women will experience menopause at different times in their lives,;but if it arrives early then some women can feel quite cheated, and have many questions. Some may never have even considered that this could be a possibility which would make it even more difficult for them to seek help or talk to their partner.

I experienced an early menopause at 37. At first I didnt know what was happening I think the hot flushes were the worst to handle. It got to the stage where even my ankles were sweating, it was awful. It is really embarrassing – you just have to get cool, it literally pours off me. I tried herbal remedies to begin with and they helped for about three;years, Im now on HRT and feel much, much better and dont have sweaty ankles now!

There is an expectation for women between 45 and;55;to go through the menopause, and at last it is being spoken about publicly but it still remains a taboo subject for many women and their partners.

If a women doesnt go through the menopause in the;normal timeframe, then she can often become fed up, tired and agitated, feeling at odds with.

Also Check: Can You Get Pregnant During Menopause

The Challenges A Partner Faces During Menopause

Its important to tread lightly on this subject. Generations of slapdash cultural misogyny paint the partner as the put-upon one. The wife is going through The Change, gonna need to go out bowling a lot more! Cue painful laugh track.

But even without the need for witless archaisms, it can be hard. Your partner is going through an intensely personal transformation based around a new hormonal state, and being partners with someone who is coping with physical and emotional upheaval isnt always easy. The established norm of your relationship may be tested. Its that way by default; your partner has never gone through menopause before, so you dont know how to handle it.

Patience. Understanding. Listening. Making sure your partner isnt feeling stressed about sex. These are all critical for supporting your partner during menopause. Talk about what she is going through to an extent that is comfortable for her. Give her space to express herself, and show her that you are there for her in a way that is meaningful for her.


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