Relationships Menopause And Sex Drive
Menopause in marriage is one of the reminders that we are in the closing stages in our journey through life.
Scientifically speaking, menopause means the woman is no longer physically capable of fulfilling their biological purpose of bearing a child. Hormones play a part, but the anxiety and depression associated with menopause run around this notion.
Nobody wants to die, but its even worse to spend the precious sunset years doing nothing.
Spending time with your long-time partner, intimate time included, is a good way to spend the rest of your days. Do the things youve always wanted to do when you were young, but wasnt able to for one reason or another.
Its not the end of the world, at least not for menopausal women and their partners. Its never too late to live healthily and be happy about it. It can save your relationship and your life.
Do I Still Have To Worry About Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Yes. Menopause and postmenopause don’t protect you against STDs. You can get an STD at any point in your life during which you’re sexually active. This risk doesn’t go down with age or with changes in your reproductive system.
Try A Prescription Cream
If youve tried over-the-counter options and youre still dry down thereor your sex drive continues to circle the draintalk to your doctor about medical treatments that can help. One possibility: low-dose estrogen vaginal creams that contain the anti-aging hormone DHA.
A cream isn’t your only option. Tablets and rings that go into the vagina and are absorbed via skin are also available. Also, a once-a-day, hormone-free drug, Osphena, has been approved by the FDA that helps thicken vaginal tissue so pain and tearing are less likely. Osphena isn’t for everyone, so if you’re considering it, check in with your ob-gyn and find out if you’re a candidate to take it.
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Relationships Sex And Contraception And The Menopause
In any relationship there are times when couples face challenges. The menopause can be one such time. Faced with a loss of sex drive and other symptoms which make them feel hot, anxious and uncomfortable, women may find they no longer want to have sex as much as they did before the menopause. Communication can become strained, with partners feeling rejected and at a loss to know how best to support their menopausal partner. Women told us how their symptoms affected their relationships, and about sex and contraception during the menopause.How symptoms affect relationshipsMenopausal symptoms are often at odds with a harmonious relationship. From a womans perspective, having to share a bed can add to the heat shes experiencing with hot flushes . Embarrassed and uncomfortable, her instinct is to get away, to find a cool spot to recover. Yet the double bed symbolises togetherness, and pushing a partner away or leaving the room, can be felt as rejection. Moreover hot flushes and sweats interrupt the partners sleep, with tiredness adding to tensions in the relationship .
Speak When Youre Angry Youll Make The Best Speech Youll Ever Regret
Youre on her side, right? Even when she might be treating you like the enemy. Between dodging flying frying pans and offering tissues, try talking to her, no matter how awkward you feel broaching the subject. Shell appreciate it, and letting her know that youre trying to make it easier for her will take you out of the line of fire, at least temporarily. Dont underestimate the difficulty of menopause.Its a trying time for you, so just imagine how difficult it is for her. The main thing here is to be patient. Give her plenty of leeway when she is upset or overcome with menopause anger and try to remember shes not out to get you.
Sometimes it can be difficult for women to recognise themselves in the ways they feel and react to menopause. Imagine how tough it is to feel like a stranger to yourself. Dont wait for her to call for the cavalry. Be there first to offer hugs, tissues, and ice cream. Suck it up and offer help. Cook the dinner, do some housekeeping whatever it takes to stop her from feeling unsupported.
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How To Rekindle Lovemaking After Menopause
ByRobert Lees | Submitted On January 29, 2009
There has been an amount of time where your sex drive has been nil, in fact usually with menopause it is hard to find the motivation to enjoy much in life. How to rekindle lovemaking after menopause, should be as special as the lovemaking you did when you had your honeymoon.
The want to start having that emotional contact again is very normal, but the way you enjoy making love is very different. Many woman say that the pleasure from intercourse is not the same as before menopause, and the desire to want to make love is more about the emotional sensation’s. Love making for the soul as I would put it, closing your eyes and concentrating on how it feels!
At this time of your life you should be making the most of all the enjoyment and pleasure you can get! And when you feel like you are ready to begin your love making with your spouse again, I recommend you take things slow. You will get more pleasure and enjoyment from the foreplay activities, than which you would from the actual intercourse.
How to rekindle love making after menopause with your spouse it is best to give them some warning, perhaps they have been waiting in anticipation with great patience, and do want to make the experience as romantic as they can…
So What Can You Do To Help Your Partner During Menopause
- Be informedThere are so many books with good information on the topic of men and menopause. Dr. Diana Bitners book, I Want to Age Like That, has an entire chapter dedicated to helping men understand menopause, and it includes a long list of suggestions to help you help her. You may also want to share Dr. Bitners Seven Essential Elements of Daily Success article with her.
- Do your researchWebsites like menopause.org and isswsh.org have so much FREE information that can help both men and women navigate the struggles of menopause symptoms . If you have some information before you talk with your partner, she will see that you are really trying to understand what she is going through.
- Be sensitiveAlong with sensitivity comes compassion and understanding. Try not to place blame on anyone and stay nonreactive when having a conversation.
- Use I languageStart every sentence with I: Saying I feel hurt when I try to be intimate with you and you turn away is much better than saying, You never want to have sex anymore. It takes the blame away from your partner and makes for a much more productive conversation.
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With All That Said You Can Still Have A Great Sex Life In Menopause
Pizarro and Brown-James both agree on this point. In fact, Dr. Pizarro says meno post-menopausal people have very active sex lives even without taking estrogen. Whats more, sexual satisfaction might increase once someones been through menopause.
There are a few reasons that might happen. The worry of being pregnant is no longer there, says Brown-James. Also, some people experience an increase in their sexual awareness of their bodies. Many women have not been taught to explore their bodies and have internalized ideas that the vulva or vagina are dirty or for someone elses pleasure, not theirs, she explains. A lot of times, if the knowledge that none of that is true hasnt taken root before, it gets dispelled at this point, and women realize their bodies are really for themselves. Bonus: That may also lead to more intense orgasms, says Brown-James.
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Are There Any Positive Sexual Changes That Might Occur During This Time
You may find theres something of a bright side to this transition, too.
Increased confidence and self-awareness can help lower inhibitions, making it easier to communicate and connect with your partner.
Whats more, if youve raised children that have since left home, youre in a position to enjoy more privacy and leisurely intimate encounters, instead of having to rush through things when family members are out of the house or asleep.
What Happens To My Body During Orgasm
Possibly not exactly what happens to mine. Our bodies are all different and so are our orgasms. But generally, during orgasm your vagina, uterus and anus contract rapidly you experience muscle contractions in other parts of your body your heart rate and breathing quicken and your blood pressure increases.
Your orgasm could be more intense than mine, last longer than mine, be wetter than mine.
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Myth: Menopause Ends Sexual Pleasure
The facts: Menopause does bring certain changes that can negatively impact the physical aspect of sex, including:
- Loss of natural vaginal lubrication due to decreased estrogen production, which can make sexual intercourse painful
- Vaginal atrophy due to declining estrogen production, which may cause discomfort during sexual intercourse as well as urinary incontinence, vaginal infections, and other troublesome conditions
Fortunately, many effective treatments exist that can help restore your vaginal health, improve arousal, and increase your sexual pleasure.
We may recommend:
- A vaginal lubricant to ease dryness and discomfort during sexual intercourse
- Estrogen applied to the vaginal area via cream, suppositories, or a vaginal ring, to help repair and rebuild tissue
- Hormone replacement therapy to treat various symptoms associated with menopause, including the physical changes in your vaginal area
Interestingly, once weve eliminated your physical discomfort, regular vaginal sexual activity may help as well, since it increases blood flow to your vagina, keeps your vaginal muscles toned, and helps maintain vaginal elasticity.
Find A Lubricant You Love
Vaginal dryness is totally treatable, says , MD, clinical professor of ob-gyn at Yale School of Medicine. One option is an over-the-counter vaginal moisturizer designed to be used regularly, say two to three times a week, rather than just before sex. Take a walk down through your local drugstore, and you’ll see many different brands.
Then when you’re ready to hit the bedroom, apply a water- or silicone-based lubricant intended to be used in the moment, so you get even more of an assist. If you’ve never checked out lubricants before, you’ll be amazed at all the varieties, including natural, additive-free versions and some that come in single-use packets for a quickie on the go.
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A Woman’s Guide To Reviving Sex Drive
Know that old song “Where Did Our Love Go”? Many women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are asking, “Where did our sex go?”
Loss of desire is common in the years before and after menopause. Desire problems peak around ages 35 to 64.
Why? Itâs a time of life with a lot going on! Changing hormones can cause spontaneous desire –or craving sex out of the blue — to plummet.
âTo blame it all on hormones is unfair, though,â says Stephanie Faubion, MD, director of the Mayo Clinicâs Womenâs Health Clinic.
Whatâs called receptive desire — being turned on when your partner makes the first move — keeps going. At least, it can if related issues in your body, mind, or relationship — usually some mix — donât get in the way, Faubion says.
The fix for sex drive issues: Tease out the complex causes and address them.
We’d Love To Hear From Husbands And Menopause Experiences
So, partners, wed love to hear from you how youre helping the women in your life manage menopause. What resources are your go-tos, what information is missing? With menopause still so taboo, are you even able to have conversations with women on the subject? Please share your thoughts in the comments below or on or . And by the way, guys? Thanks.
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Continue To Practice Safe Sex
Using protection is important during perimenopause to prevent pregnancy and remains important after menopause as well if you are not in a monogamous relationship. Vaginal dryness and irritation can lead to small cuts or tears during sex, which makes it easier to contract an STD.2 Even if you cant get pregnant anymore, condoms do help prevent STDs as you explore your sexuality.
Its Best Not To Ignore Any Changes That Cause You Distress
You may cringe at the thought of talking to your gynecologist about sex. But rest assured, there is no reason to feel awkward. If you’re dealing with these changes and are very much unhappy with them, talk to your doctor. Right now, this may be a conversation that needs to take place via telehealth due to the pandemic. If you feel dismissed, then Dr. Rowen encourages you to consider switching to another provider if at all possible. Go find someone who will listen to you and take your problems seriously, Dr. Rowen says. Together, you can come up with a treatment plan that may help you have a more fulfilling sex life, even after menopause.
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Make Sleep A Major Priority
Theres no treatment, cream, or injection better than sleep for the skin, models will tell you. Getting high-quality sleep and lots of it helps to balance hormones, boosts mood by allowing ample time for neurotransmitter production and regulation , and it also increases the amount of time we spend in slow wave sleep, a stage of sleep right after REM sleep when we burn fat, heal wounds, perform collagen synthesis, and all kinds of essentials for a menopausal womans overall health and happiness quotient.
What Happens After Menopause
As you wind down from the menopause, your body continues to go through a lot of changes. While your hormone levels adjust to a new normal, you can face changes to different parts of your body, and your health.
Common post menopause symptoms:
1. Your hot flushes will stop – eventually
As your hormones settle down, so will perimenopausal symptoms like hot flushes. Hurrah! However, they may continue for up to 8 years – and things might get worse before they get better. “Leading up to menopause, your oestrogen levels fluctuate. When they’re high, you don’t have symptoms,” gynaecologist Dr. Kevin Audlin explains. “But when you go into menopause and there’s a complete lack of oestrogen, you start to notice those symptoms more.”
2. Your breasts may look different
Postmenopausal breasts may shrink, change shape, lose firmness and become more prone to lumps. This is because weight can fluctuate during the menopause, meaning your breasts lose their elasticity. Time to go for that bra fitting.
3. Your weight distribution will change
Fat is less likely to settle on the hips and thighs post menopause – but more likely to settle on the waistline. It’s thought that the body attempts to hoard’ oestrogen in fat cells around the belly area, but experts warn that this kind of fat has been associated with diabetes, heart disease, stroke and even some cancers. Discover our tips to help you deal with menopause weight gain here, if you are concerned.
4. Sex may become more painful
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Experiment With Sex Toys That Work With Specific Techniques
When you figure out what you like, sex toys can help you get there either alone or with a partner. Tatyana Dyachenko, a sex coach with the online sex shop Peaches and Screams, reveals what types of toys work best with each technique.
For angling Sex swings allow the woman to rotate, raise, or lower her pelvis on the penetration item to allow for maximum pleasure.
For pairing A silicone mini finger vibrator stimulates your clitoris during penetration a strap-on face dildo allows your partner to penetrate you while also using their tongue to stimulate the clitoris.
For rocking A raised ribbed cock sleeve with a clitoral stimulator and vibrator works for both parties: It helps thicken and support the penis for more firm erections, and the female partner can rub herself against the clitoral stimulator while being penetrated. Or, a vibrating clitoral stimulator delivers direct stimulation.
For shallowing Vibrating balls or eggs are inserted just inside the vagina without the need for deep penetration.