Orgasm Can Become Harder After Menopausebut There Is No Medical Reason Why You Cant Orgasm At All
When I was giving my Girl Talk down in Austin, Texas this year , I met up with Dr. Carol Peters-Tanksley, a gynecologist who has guest posted for me before, and the author of Dr. Carols Guide to Womens Health, and awesome resource of all things gynecological. Its always fun to meet people I know online in real life!
Do I Still Have To Worry About Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Yes. Menopause and postmenopause don’t protect you against STDs. You can get an STD at any point in your life during which you’re sexually active. This risk doesn’t go down with age or with changes in your reproductive system.
If Youre Trying To O Like Right Now Try This
You really want to orgasm, but, for whatever reason, you just cant seem to get there. This can feel so discouraging that, eventually, you might decide theres no point in trying and give up entirely.
While you can try a few different things to make an orgasm happen, its also important to keep in mind that you can still enjoy yourself, even without an O.
Focusing on the pleasure youre experiencing in the momentwithout fixating on orgasm as a specific goal might just help you get there more quickly.
For more satisfying sex, solo or partnered, try these tips.
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Carefully Pick Products To Use On Your Vulva And Vagina
Menopause disrupts the vaginal ecosystem and messes with the Vaginal pH, thereby exposing the Vagina to recurrent infections.
- Avoid harsh products which may further disrupt your vaginal PH.
- Avoid high fragrance products and artificial ingredients. Don’t use talc powder on your V area at all, regardless of the urge to feel fresh. It is advisable to stick to products with natural ingredients.
- Take note of the following ingredients when you are purchasing vaginal products perfumes, flavors, Propylene glycol, glycerin, Chlorhexidine, and parabens.
- You can also use prebiotic supplements to counter vaginal bacterial and yeast.
Here Are Other Reasons That Contribute To Your Recurrent Lack Of Libido And Orgasms:
- Fall in sex hormonesBoth testosterone and estrogen are known to arouse you, hit rock bottom which negatively impacts our libido. Lack of estrogen also means dryness in the vaginal walls which may cause painful sex.
- StressMany women are knee-deep into their career and marital life when they hit menopause. Women may experience a low sex drive due to a number of worries on their plate. This problem may be linked to relationship troubles, too many responsibilities and even to the loss of a loved one. Stress is the number one mood killer for anything fun.
- Hot flashesAs our body undergoes new physical changes, some women experience hot flashes during the day or night. These can be mild symptoms or may stick longer for some. Hot flashes are common during menopause. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
While these issues can come forth, there are various notions linked to orgasms after menopause which are nothing but myths. We are busting one of the major ones by telling you that orgasms and great sex are absolutely possible during menopause and even beyond. Living an overall healthy life, having good energy, getting enough sleep, being physically active and eating well will go a long way towards helping you focus on and feel good about being intimate and sexual while you have reached the menopause phase and even after!
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Are There Any Positive Sexual Changes That Might Occur During This Time
You may find theres something of a bright side to this transition, too.
Increased confidence and self-awareness can help lower inhibitions, making it easier to communicate and connect with your partner.
Whats more, if youve raised children that have since left home, youre in a position to enjoy more privacy and leisurely intimate encounters, instead of having to rush through things when family members are out of the house or asleep.
Do Perimenopause And Menopause Affect Orgasms
In a word, yes. The menopause-related issues that mess with libido can also screw the ability to achieve orgasm. Low oestrogen can cause vaginal atrophy and reduced oestrogen can also result in less blood supply to the clitoris and lower vagina.
Changes to the vascular and nervous systems can also toy with the ultra-sensitive clitoris. A survey in America, cited in this piece, found that 5% of US women have difficulty achieving orgasm. The rate of these problems was higher among women aged 45 to 64 and those 65+ than the 3% in women younger than 45.
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Using Language For Sexual Techniques Is Powerful
I think naming pleasure and pleasure techniques are specifically empowering and usable, so women can feel comfortable and confident using them with partners. They are also important for when women discuss their sex lives with friends, such as I like this, why dont you try that? To be able to specifically describe what they like and to be able to ask for it is incredibly empowering and helps women to feel like their voices are heard. There is also a normalizing effect as well when they realize that what they like is a pattern that’s shared by lots of women, says von Hippel.
Dr. von Hippel adds that having language also allows women to be flexible and describe what they want at the moment. What you enjoy can change in the middle of a sexual experience, and it can change over your life. Having this large menu or repertoire of words and techniques that you can pull from is great, because then it’s also not a question of I am a woman who likes x. It might be I am a woman who loves pairing in this context and shallowing in this context and angling at this age. Women can feel confident to communicate and mix and match.
How Does Menopause Affect Sexuality
Youre officially in menopause once you havent had a period for a full year. By this point, youve probably noticed quite a few changes that have been happening to your body already. Hot flashes, insomnia, and irregular periods are all common features of the transitional time leading up to menopause, known as perimenopause.
The main culprit behind these shifts is a dramatic drop in your estrogen, the hormone that plays such an important role in womens sexual and reproductive development.
But its not just physical changes. This drop in estrogen can seriously affect your sexuality after menopause too.
Here are some things you may be going through:
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How Can I Improve My Sex Drive During And After Menopause
Estrogen replacement may work, but more research is needed. Estrogen can make sex less painful by treating vaginal dryness, though.
Doctors are also studying whether a combo of estrogen and male hormones called androgens may help boost sex drive in women.
Although sexual problems can be hard to discuss, talk to your doctor. There are options to consider, such as counseling. Your doctor may refer you and your partner to a health professional who specializes in sexual dysfunction. The therapist may advise sexual counseling on an individual basis, with your partner, or in a support group. This type of counseling can be very successful, even when it’s done on a short-term basis.
A sexual aid called Eros is available by prescription to treat women with disorders of sexual arousal. The device consists of a small suction cup, which is placed over the clitoris before sex, and a small, battery-operated vacuum pump. The gentle suction provided by the vacuum pump draws blood into the clitoris, increasing pressure on the clitoral nerve. This device increases lubrication, sensation, and even the number of orgasms in many women who have used it.
Aiding Arousal And Orgasm
Both arousal and orgasm depend on a complex array of psychological and physical factors. Issues that reduce libido can also affect arousal and orgasm. In addition, when blood flow to the genitals and pelvis is diminished or nerves are damaged, it can be difficult to achieve either. Identifying and addressing lifestyle factors may increase your sexual response. These are the most common physical factors impeding arousal and orgasm:
Alcohol. Although a glass of wine might enhance your libido, heavy drinking can make it difficult to achieve orgasm.
Health conditions. Diseases that affect blood flow and nerve function, including diabetes, kidney disease, heart disease, and multiple sclerosis, can reduce sexual responsiveness.
Medication. Drugs to lower blood pressure can delay or prevent orgasm. Antidepressants, particularly SSRIs, can also impede orgasm.
Clinical trials have demonstrated that the following may be helpful in stimulating arousal and orgasm:
Zestra. A massage oil that creates a sensation of warmth throughout the genital area, Zestra increased desire, arousal, and satisfaction in 70% of the women enrolled in clinical trials required for FDA approval. It is available over the counter for around $10.
Clitoral Stimulation Devices. For example, the Eros Clitoral Therapy Device increases genital blood flow by applying a gentle vacuum to the clitoris. Its approved by the FDA and costs around $300.
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Factors That May Affect Orgasm
Difficulty reaching an orgasm when youve managed to before can be a result of several things. Common causes may include:
- hormone changes, for example after childbirth or during menopause
- gynaecological issues including painful intercourse
- not being stimulated enough
- worries or fears about having sex
- lack of self confidence
Clitoral Stimulation Is Key
Paget notes that all four techniques are connected to stimulating the clitoris at the same time. This should not be any shock to any woman. For most, it isn’t the vaginal penetration that’s the most satisfying. That may feel good for feeling filled and connected to a partner. But it’s the shallowing, the rocking those are all things that women have been doing for forever, that really bring women extreme pleasure, she points out.
Again, this is important for men to know as well. They have been fed misinformation from society at large and from watching unrealistic porn, where the women are usually deriving all their pleasure from penetration. Men need to learn the importance of clitoral stimulation as well, she adds.
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Why Is Orgasm Difficult After Menopause
Menopause affects several things:
- Our hormone levels change
- Blood flow to the genital area reduces
- Lubrication diminishes
What this adds up to is that:
- Women take much longer to get aroused
- When we are aroused, we arent as wet
- When we are aroused, it often isnt as great, and its harder to cross that threshold
Now, I realize thats a vast oversimplification of how arousal after menopause works , but bear with me for a minute. What Dr. Carol is saying is that this doesnt add up to an inability to orgasm it just means that it may be more challenging.
Orgasm can become harder after menopause, but there is no medical reason why you cant orgasm at all.
Find out more, and let The Good Girls Guide help you!
And yet these women werent saying that they only sometimes had an orgasm. They were saying they never did. How can that be?
I have a theory about this.
Ners Can Learn About Pleasuring Others Too
Paget also points out that the top question most men ask her is: How can he make things more pleasurable for his partner? Men are so hungry for what they can do to make a partner feel good. They enjoy it more if she enjoys it more. Having language that can quickly describe what she likes is empowering to them as well, says Paget, who is also the author of five books on sexuality, including Orgasms.
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Why Does Menopause Affect Orgasms
As women age, menopause hits, bringing low estrogen and testosterone along with it. This creates reduced blood supply to the vaginal area, which can cause the vagina to atrophy and remain dry. In turn, the aging tissue of the vagina can become less sensitive and less likely to achieve orgasms during intimacy. This can be very discouraging for many Dallas women, but theres hope! If you are suffering from decreased orgasms after menopause, Dr. Brady can help with the O-Shot!
Spend Time On Foreplay
After menopause, it can take a little longer for you to get turned on. But thatâs normal.
Foreplay can be a fun way to trigger your âresponsiveâ desire. Thatâs when you donât want sex âout of the blue,â but you enjoy intimacy once you get started. You may want to take more time to kiss or touch before you jump into sex.
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Its Best Not To Ignore Any Changes That Cause You Distress
You may cringe at the thought of talking to your gynecologist about sex. But rest assured, there is no reason to feel awkward. If you’re dealing with these changes and are very much unhappy with them, talk to your doctor. Right now, this may be a conversation that needs to take place via telehealth due to the pandemic. If you feel dismissed, then Dr. Rowen encourages you to consider switching to another provider if at all possible. Go find someone who will listen to you and take your problems seriously, Dr. Rowen says. Together, you can come up with a treatment plan that may help you have a more fulfilling sex life, even after menopause.
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How To Orgasm After Menopause
Putting the “O” in menopause: Tips on finding pleasure after “the change” from a sex therapist.
It can be difficult for many women to reconnect with their sexuality after “the change”, largely due to the many biological changes that can wreak havoc on the mind and body. However, its important to remember that sexuality and pleasure are well-within our control, and menopause doesnt change this fact.
Mia Sabat, sex therapist at Emjoy, the audio sexual wellbeing app for women, offers insights into experiencing sexual pleasure during, and after, menopause.
NSFW: The following content contains explicit references to the vulva and self-pleasure, and is best enjoyed in a private moment.
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Tips For Sex After A Hysterectomy
It is normal to be a little apprehensive about having sex after a hysterectomy. There are several things a person can do to make it easier, including:
- Not rushing things: Having sex too soon after surgery can be painful and may cause an infection. A person should follow the doctors recommendations about when it is safe to have sex, remembering that 6 weeks is only a guide. Some women may not be ready at that point in their recovery.
- Using lubrication: Using lubrication may make sex easier and more enjoyable. Lubrication is especially helpful for women who have had their ovaries removed and are in surgical menopause. A range of lubricants is available for purchase online.
- Talking with their partner: It is essential for a person to talk with any sexual partners about how they feel after a hysterectomy, especially if something is painful or uncomfortable.
- Trying different positions: Certain positions may be more comfortable than others, especially for people who are experiencing vaginal dryness. In these cases, they can experiment with different positions to find something that feels better.
Why Do Orgasms Decrease After Menopause
When women enter menopause, life changes. We are all familiar with the hormonal changes in women causing telltale signs like hot flashes, night sweats, and mood changes, but did you know that the body goes through many physical changes as well?
Your sexual health and well-being are very important to Dr. Brady. She wants women to feel empowered to embrace their bodies and take back their sexual enjoyment, freedom, and power. If youre a Dallas woman whos in the middle of menopause, or if you have reached the other side of it, this topic may weigh heavy on your mind. In this blog, wed like to discuss why orgasms decrease after menopause and how the revolutionary O-Shot can help!
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The Secret To Orgasms After Menopause
Sex after menopause can be, well, difficult. Dryness, incontinence, a low libido and the loss of hormones following menopause can derail what was once a healthy sex life. And while there are a whole host of treatments available for men with sexual dysfunction such as viagra, cialis and testosterone replacement therapy, to name a few there arent many treatment options for women. But the O-Shot could be a solution if youre adventurous enough to consider it.
A Husbands Guide To Having Great Sex After Menopause
There are many ways in which you can contribute to ensuring that you both continue having great sex after menopause. As biological and psychosocial factors indirectly affect a couples sexual relationship, you should not only think about sexual factors when you consider how to improve sex with your menopausal partner, but must also consider how biological and psychosocial factors influence sexual functioning.
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