Address The Emotional Issues
You can need to sort out the emotional issues as well, and that can be very difficult. I can say, “Talk to your partner. Get them to understand why you don’t feel like having sex regularly.”, but that can be one of the most difficult things that you do, and if you’re feeling low and emotionally vulnerable, then trying to put these things into words can be very, very difficult.
But it is important to try and communicate how you feel because very often, our partners don’t understand what’s going on with us. And they think that every no is a rejection of them, whereas this is coming from the part of you that’s just not interested in anything like that at the moment.
So, if you can’t talk to your partner, then write things down and give that to them. Sometimes, writing things down can make you focus on them and make it easier for yourself to express how you are feeling. And, it may give them a little bit of time and space to read through what’s going on with you. Sometimes, that can have quite a positive impact on relationships.
How Can I Improve Intimacy With My Partner
During menopause, if your sex drive has dropped but you don’t think you need counseling, you should still take time for intimacy. You can still show your partner love and affection without having sex. Enjoy your time together: take walks, eat dinner by candlelight, or give each other back rubs.
To improve your physical intimacy, try these tips:
- Consider experimenting with erotic videos or books, masturbation, and changes to sexual routines.
- Use distraction techniques to boost relaxation and ease anxiety. These can include erotic or non-erotic fantasies, exercises with sex, and music, videos, or television.
- Have fun with foreplay, such as sensual massage or oral sex. These activities can make you feel more comfortable and improve communication between you and your partner.
- Minimize any pain you might have by using sexual positions that allow you to control the depth of penetration. You may also want to take a warm bath before sex to help you relax, and use vaginal lubricants to help ease pain caused by friction.
- Tell your partner what’s comfortable and what’s not.
What Causes Low Sex Drive In Women
A womans sexual desire may fluctuate throughout her life depending on her relationship status and other social or personal factors, but chronic low sex drive that results in personal distress is known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder . It occurs when a woman has a persistent lack of desire for sex, including self-stimulation and sexual fantasies or thoughts. While there is no magic number to determine how much sex is normal, women may feel distressed if their sex drive is weaker than it once was.
When it comes to a womans sex drive, some research indicates that both physical and emotional factors might be responsible. The end of a relationship or other significant life changes may cause a womans sexual desire to drop. Others may suffer from a low sex drive due to their medications. For example, some antidepressants or anti-seizure drugs are known for causing low libido.
Even some hormonal contraceptives may dampen a womans sexual desire. According to a poll conducted by Womans Magazine, approximately 36 percent of women feel that the pill, the vaginal ring, and the patch reduce their sexual desire.
Additionally, some medical diseases such as high blood pressure, cancer, arthritis, diabetes and neurological disorders are known to affect sexual desire.
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Myth: Theres No Way To Spice Up Your Sex Life After Menopause
The facts: Many women find menopause the perfect time to try new ways of expressing their sensuality and sexuality with a loving, trusted partner. All those years youve spent learning and growing as a woman can give you the courage to ask for the touch you enjoy or explore a sexual position youve always fantasized about.
As your children get older and spend more time away from the nest, you may even find it enjoyable to have sex in the dining room, in front of the fireplace in the living room, or on that cozy backyard porch swing. When your kids are out, just being able to leave the bedroom door open for a change may add the right amount of spice to your sex life.
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How Menopause Affects Sex Drive
A number of factors can affect a person’s sex drive, or libido. Because of this, not everyone’s libido is affected by menopause in the same way.
Although the changes in testosterone associated with aging can affect a person’s sex drive, research suggests that a loss of libido isn’t actually all that common. One study of 500 women in early and late menopause found that while 12% of the perimenopausal group reported a loss of libido, only 3% of the postmenopausal group reported the same.
What makes some people more susceptible to decreased libido? Testosterone fluctuations are only one factor. Other factors that have been shown to be associated with decreased sex drive during menopause include:
- Vaginal dryness
- Having children living at home
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Do I Still Have To Worry About Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Yes. Menopause and postmenopause don’t protect you against STDs. You can get an STD at any point in your life during which you’re sexually active. This risk doesn’t go down with age or with changes in your reproductive system.
More Sex After Menopause
Not all people experience a reduced libido after menopause. For some people, not much changes. Others actually experience increased sex drive after menopause. What makes the difference, and which is most likely to affect you?
Some of what predicts changes in sex drive after menopause is what happens to your body, but a lot of it is about what’s going on in your world. Changes in lifestyle factorssuch as not having children at home and not having to worry about pregnancy and menstruationcan be freeing. Furthermore, that freedom can be erotic.
In general, people who are less stressed and more active after menopause are less likely to experience libido problems. That’s also true for people before menopause. A lot of the sex drive takes place in the mind. If your stress goes down after menopause, your sex drive may well go up.
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My Perimenopause Sex Life
I had heard about all of the above, but there was one thing I wasnt prepared for because Id never heard of it: a surge in my libido in the peri-perimenopause phase. Im talking about a libido so high I felt like stereotypical 20 year-old man, looking to have sex with anyone I found attractive, at any time. I called it the Sex Surge® because it felt very much like an electrical surge, a sudden burst of sexual energy in my system that sometimes threatened to blow my circuits. Ringing any bells with anyone?
What Can I Do About Vaginal Dryness
About half of menopausal women experience vaginal dryness. Healthy Womenrecommends that you dont use soap on the inner parts of your vulva, as soap can potentially irritate sensitive skin . Next, use only white and undyed, unscented toilet paper. Be sure to wash your underwear in detergent that is free of dye or scent and avoid fabric softener. Finally, avoid body wash or bubble bath if you experience irritation.
Using a water-based vaginal moisturizer can help tremendously for the dryness associated with menopause. Choose a product with hyaluronic acid and vitamin E, both of which are proven to restore and maintain moisture.
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Communicate With Your Partner
Focus on communication and intimacy. Keep in mind that talking about sex really should be the same as talking about any challenging issue in a relationship. Dr. Propst suggests describing how you feel about certain situations rather than making accusations against your partner if you are having a debate. Find time and a neutral place and talk about a goal of making sex enjoyable for both of you.
Also be honest with yourself, she says. Ask yourself if there are things going on in your life or in your relationship that keep you from wanting to have sex with your partner. A lack of desire is often related to relationship issues. Dr. Propst adds that relationship roadblocks tend to affect women more than men when it comes to sex. If you cannot find solutions on your own, a therapist may be able to help you and your partner.
How To Increase Sex Drive In Women
Research shows that one in ten women are affected by HSDD, but most of them dont even know they have it. Its the most common sexual dysfunction in women. If you have been diagnosed with HSDD, there might not be much your doctor can do for you regarding conventional treatment. Lucky, there are plenty of natural remedies you can use to increase your sex drive, and they come with additional benefits that may enhance other areas of your life, too!
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Talk It Out With Your Partner
Even if it’s just the physical changes of menopause that are making sex painful, talking it out with your partner can help alleviate the stress and anxiety surrounding the topic. If you’re single or your partner isn’t the talky type, your ob-gyn is available to lend an ear. I always encourage women to have a good, trusted gynecological healthcare provider to speak with, Dr. Minkin says. A doctor, nurse midwife, or nurse practitioner can be a valuable source of advice.
You may also want to talk to a sex therapist, who can help you be more open about what you need and want from your partner as well as reminding you that the changes you’re experiencing are perfectly normal.
How Can I Protect Myself From Stds
Take some basic steps to help protect yourself from STDs:
- Not having sex is the only sure way to prevent STDs.
- Use a latex condom every time you have sex.
- Limit your number of sexual partners. The more partners you have, the more likely you are to catch an STD.
- Practice monogamy. This means having sex with only one person. That person must also have sex with only you to lower your risk.
- Choose your sex partners with care. Don’t have sex with someone who you suspect might have an STD.
- Get checked for STDs. Don’t risk giving the infection to someone else.
- Ask a potential sex partner to be checked for STDs. Symptoms of STDs may not be visible or even cause any symptoms for your partner.
- If you have more than one sex partner, always use a condom.
- Don’t use alcohol or drugs before you have sex. You may be less likely to practice safe sex if you’re drunk or high.
- Know the symptoms of STDs.
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Why Do Some Women Urinate During Intercourse I’m 60 Years Old
Feeling extra pressure on the belly can cause peeing during sex. Changing your position might solve this. You can also try emptying your bladder before and after sex.
“Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s normal,” says urogynecologist Kristin Rooney, MD. “This is a medical condition.” Urinary incontinence is very treatable. Treatments include behavioral changes, physical therapy and medications. Call 800.922.0000 to see a urogynecologist.
Estrogen And Physical Menopausal Changes
The drop in estrogen that occurs after menopause affects the structures of the reproductive tract. People often notice problems with vaginal dryness, Many also experience atrophy of the vagina and vulva. These changes may be accompanied by symptoms such as pain during sex or discomfort with urination.
Vaginal discomfort is treatable. Vaginal moisturizers and lubricants can be helpful, as can vaginal estrogens, for those who are interested.
The same treatments that help with vaginal symptoms may also alleviate some urinary symptoms. However, if you are experiencing bothersome pain, including during sex or urination, it is a good idea to discuss it with a physician.
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How Hormones Affect Sex Drive
The main causes in the menopausal and the postmenopausal women is the loss of estrogen and testosterone that leads to changes in a womans body and sexual drive. Therefore, menopausal and postmenopausal women may notice that theyre not as easily aroused, and they may be less sensitive to touching and stroking. That can lead to less interest in sex. Also, lower levels of estrogen can cause a drop in blood supply to the vagina. That can affect vaginal lubrication, causing the vagina to be too dry for comfortable sex but theres help for that read on! The fluctuating hormones during perimenopause can also affect a womans mental health which then, in turn, may cause a decrease in libido.
Factors That Decrease Libido
Some women feel sexually empowered and enjoy sex more after menopause, so a poorer sex life does not have to be a part of menopause. However, many factors can lower libido, such as:
Stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety can consume you, impact your hormones, and make you feel uninterested in sex.
Vaginal dryness. Vaginal dryness commonly plagues menopausal women and can make sex painful and uncomfortable, leading to decreased libido.
Prescription drugs. Prescription drugs such as hormonal birth control, antidepressants and medication to lower blood pressure, prevent seizures, and treat psychosis, can decrease sex drive.
Underlying health conditions. Heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and other chronic diseases can negatively impact sex drive.
Aging. A person’s sex drive tends to change and decrease as they age. Older people are also more likely to experience other factors that can decrease sex drive.
Relationship problems are the most common cause of loss of libido. If you are not happy in your relationship or do not find your partner sexually attractive, your libido can decline.
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Does Sex Drive Return After Menopause
Menopause is defined as when you havent had your periods for 12 consecutive months. Menopause generally marks the end of the reproductive cycle in women. As your estrogen levels drop, many physical and psychological changes ensue. One of them is that sex becomes less pleasurable. This may be due to multiple reasons, such as
- Difficulty achieving orgasms due to dyspareunia
- The declining desire to have sex
- Other changes in your body, such as weight gain, joint stiffness and reduced stamina
Though many women can still have the desire to have sex after menopause, it may be not as passionate as it was in their 20s.
Sex Is ‘highly Important’ Say More Than 25 Percent Of Postmenopausal Women Surveyed
Rather than look at averages of the women over time, investigators looked at trajectories within the cohort. This analysis technique allowed us to see if there are unique pathways that women can follow, explains Thomas.
If you just looked at averages of the group as a whole, it would look like how important sex is to women would go down for everyone, but what we actually found three distinct pathways women commonly follow when it comes to how much they value sex as they get older, she says.
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Experiment With Herbal Supplements
The key to making supplements work for you is to take them as part of a healthy diet. Lots of people give up on taking supplements because they dont change their diet, and there is no point in taking them when the rest of your body is a toxic environment. Panax ginseng or Asian ginseng is an herb that has been shown to increase sex drive in women. One study found that women who were going through menopause saw improvements in their sexual desire after taking one gram of Panax ginseng every day for two weeks. Other studies indicate that you can take 900 mg to 1,000 mg up to three times a day to help you get in the mood.
Maca root is another herb that has been shown to increase sex drive in women. One study found that 14 postmenopausal women who were given either a placebo or 3500 mg per day of maca root for six weeks reduced their menopause symptoms, such as anxiety and depression, and boosted their sexual function. Yohimbine has been shown to improve orgasm dysfunction when taken in the amount of 15 to 30 mg daily while the stress-reducing herb ashwagandha helps treat female sexual distress when a 500 mg capsule is taken once or twice daily.
A Woman’s Guide To Reviving Sex Drive
Know that old song “Where Did Our Love Go”? Many women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are asking, “Where did our sex go?”
Loss of desire is common in the years before and after menopause. Desire problems peak around ages 35 to 64.
Why? Itâs a time of life with a lot going on! Changing hormones can cause spontaneous desire –or craving sex out of the blue — to plummet.
âTo blame it all on hormones is unfair, though,â says Stephanie Faubion, MD, director of the Mayo Clinicâs Womenâs Health Clinic.
Whatâs called receptive desire — being turned on when your partner makes the first move — keeps going. At least, it can if related issues in your body, mind, or relationship — usually some mix — donât get in the way, Faubion says.
The fix for sex drive issues: Tease out the complex causes and address them.
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