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How Does A Man Deal With Menopause

S Towards A Better Relationship

Menopause Survival Tips: What Every Man (and Woman) Needs to Know About Managing Menopausal Madness!
  • Take responsibilityConsider your role in the relationship. You may well discover that theres much you can do yourself to turn the relationship around, or at least keep it on an even keel.
  • Get to know each other againAim for open and honest discussions. Be curious, show youre interested in each other and ask questions get to really know each other again.
  • Dont blame it all on the menopauseMake a distinction between menopausal symptoms and existing relationship problems.
  • Adjust to find a balanceBe sure to balance time for just the two of you with time for the family. Dont forget to include time for each of your interests and hobbies.
  • Expect the unexpectedDuring this period of change, you may well be looking back at all thats happened over the years for you personally and as a couple. This reflection can potentially lead to a crisis in your relationship even a breakup and divorce. It can also mark the beginning of a new, reinvigorated chapter in your life as a couple.
  • Last, but not least lets talk about your sexual relationship not unimportant when you want info on the menopause for husbands or partners.

    So What Can You Do To Help Your Partner During Menopause

    • Be informedThere are so many books with good information on the topic of men and menopause. Dr. Diana Bitners book, I Want to Age Like That, has an entire chapter dedicated to helping men understand menopause, and it includes a long list of suggestions to help you help her. You may also want to share Dr. Bitners Seven Essential Elements of Daily Success article with her.
    • Do your researchWebsites like and have so much FREE information that can help both men and women navigate the struggles of menopause symptoms . If you have some information before you talk with your partner, she will see that you are really trying to understand what she is going through.
    • Be sensitiveAlong with sensitivity comes compassion and understanding. Try not to place blame on anyone and stay nonreactive when having a conversation.
    • Use I languageStart every sentence with I: Saying I feel hurt when I try to be intimate with you and you turn away is much better than saying, You never want to have sex anymore. It takes the blame away from your partner and makes for a much more productive conversation.

    Is Having A Hard Time Concentrating And Being Forgetful A Normal Part Of Menopause

    Unfortunately, concentration and minor memory problems can be a normal part of menopause. Though this doesnt happen to everyone, it can happen. If youre having memory problems during menopause, call your healthcare provider. Several activities have been shown to stimulate the brain and help rejuvenate your memory. These activities can include:

    • Doing crossword puzzles and other mentally stimulating activities like reading and doing math problems.
    • Cutting back on passive activities like watching TV.
    • Getting plenty of exercise.

    Keep in mind that depression and anxiety can also impact your memory. These conditions can be linked to menopause.

    Also Check: How To Increase Breast Size After Menopause

    Tip #2 She May Not Tell You Things

    Menopause is still such a taboo subject that it can be hard to talk about, even between intimate, long-term partners. As this husband of 28 years said, Dont take it personally if she doesnt want to share the details with you. What happened to her that day might be really embarrassing, like maybe she had a hot flash while training some 22-year-old intern. Be open to hearing it, but also be open to not hearing it. And it can depend on the day, too one day its humiliating, the next day its hilarious. Just try to go with it.

    You Need Privacy For Several Reasons

    10 Ways to Deal with Your Menopause Symptoms

    Youll need time for reflection and simply getting away from it all we all do.

    Youll also need time away from all that interrupts as a couple time to talk, to be tender and to make love in privacy. Possibly your sexual relationship is already on a low burner, so Ill talk about that a little further down the page.

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    Ten Things A Man Needs To Know About The Menopause

  • Never underestimate the menopause its a profound life change for any woman.
  • While a woman has many physical changes, theres no medical quick-fix. Men often think HRT will cure the menopause. It wont.
  • Dont expect love-making to stay the same. Your wife may find sex uncomfortable. But there are lots of ways to be intimate.
  • If theres a cooling off sexually, it doesnt mean she doesnt love you any more.
  • If she shouts at you, or gets irritable, ask her whats going on. The chances are its nothing youve done wrong.
  • Be patient! The menopause can take up to ten years.
  • Hot flushes are the most common symptom of the menopause. But just because your wife doesnt want to cuddle at night or even sleep in the same bed, it doesnt mean that shes rejecting you. It may well be more comfortable to sleep that way.
  • If there are problems in your relationship, this can be a critical time, so keep the lines of communication open. Keep talking.
  • During the menopause, a woman is forced to say goodbye to the fertile young woman she was. Dont underestimate how painful and confusing this can be for her.
  • The 50s are also a critical decade for men. Its common to have a crisis about your own identity, so try not to give yourself a hard time.
  • Mens Guide To Menopause How To Support The Woman In Your Life

    Going through menopause can be turbulent for any woman, but it can also be a very scary time for men as they see the woman they love morphing into some angry stranger!

    Understanding is key women who have supportive partners are more likely to have a smoother ride through peri-menopause. If the man in your life is struggling to understand your strange behaviour lately, you may want to leave this men’s guide to menopause lying around

    Questions from men

    Here are some of the most common questions we get from the husbands, partners and male friends of the women we are helping in the clinic.

    1. What the hell has happened to my wife/girlfriend?

    If it seems that she has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with someone you hardly know, then read on! From the age of around 35, a woman’s hormones start to decline as her ovaries and egg production slow down and come to an end. This period is known as the peri-menopause, the years of fluctuating hormones leading up to the actual menopause when her periods stop completely. Some women sail through this time, but for others, it can be a real struggle.

    2. Did you say it can start in your 30’s?!

    Yes, hormone changes can start in a woman’s 30’s so it’s important to be aware of that and to seek help as soon as she starts getting symptoms.

    3. She used to love being with me, now it feels like she wants to kill me!

    5. I feel like she doesnt fancy me anymore, she might even have someone else. Our sex life is non-existent.


    Reduce stress

    Recommended Reading: Perimenopause Light Headed

    The Impact On Sexual Health

    Due to decreased hormones, one of the areas most affected by menopause is sexual health. It is well-known that many women must deal with the following repercussions:

    • vaginal dryness
    • pain or discomfort during sexual intercourse
    • difficulty reaching orgasm

    Remember that even if she is experiencing sexual difficulties, every woman needs to feel beautiful, loved, and desired. Showing tenderness and affection can be beneficial to both you and her.

    Snapped At Sidelined Spurned In The Bedroom Men Reveal The Emotional Turmoil Of Living With A Wife Going Through ‘the Change’

    EP68: Dealing with âmale menopauseâ | PUTTING DR G ON THE SPOT

    For women, the menopause is a time of profound change, both physically and emotionally. But what of the husbands and partners they share their lives with? How does this critical period in a womans life affect them?

    Its a subject that touches millions, but is rarely spoken about. Until now. In her new book, psychotherapist Sue Brayne persuaded a group of men, all married to women who were going, or had gone, through the menopause, to open up about their experiences.

    Their testimony shows how a womans menopause can cut right to the heart of a mans sense of masculinity.

    Difficult time: The changes a woman experiences during the menopause can affect both her and her partner

    My father was unable and unwilling to express his emotions, so I grew up believing that all men were emotional cripples.

    I now know this isnt true, but it took me years to appreciate that when it comes to life, love and loss, in their different way men suffer just as much as women do.

    Women have each other to moan to or to pick up the pieces when our worlds fall apart. But men dont have that innate capacity.

    They may mumble to their friends over a pint about something thats bothering them, but its rarely an open or honest conversation. So I was amazed when I managed to persuade a group of husbands to share their experiences of their wives menopause.

    Most of them had never spoken about these things to anyone, but they were desperate for an outlet for their fears.

    Read Also: Does Menopause Cause Dizzy Spells

    Discover Meaning And Purpose During The Menopause

    Having a sense of meaning and purpose is essential for us as human beings. It keeps us motivated to carry on despite any challenges we might be facing.

    Menopause, andropause and midlife crises offer an opportunity to reassess meaning and purpose in your lives.

    Its essential you know that your existence and contributions to the immediate world around you befit your values and beliefs and are meaningful to you.

    So, see if you can:

    • Reignite a passion youve always had
    • Set new relationship goals
    • Consider finding a shared interest.

    Allow each other space to think about and make some major changes with regards to the above.

    Expect to have some challenging conversations about what each of you wants to do in the coming years.

    Take responsibility for your own anxieties about what those changes could mean for your relationship.

    Ways You Can Help And Support Your Wife Or Partner

  • This period of change offers an opportunity to get to know the love of your life again and reinvigorate your relationship. Download my free communication tools for couples to help you start today.
  • Maintain or gently and kindly introduce a sense of humour when appropriate .
  • Be on the lookout for the good times between the upsets, and talk about them often. Talk about where and when the two of you work well as a team.
  • Remind yourself whenever necessary that your wife is going through a challenging time but will eventually find her balance and very best self again.
  • Bear in mind that you also might have to face something similar . Or perhaps you already have been through what is called andropause.
  • Offer support in a way that you know your wife will appreciate. Ask, instead of blindly offering what you decide she needs.
  • Expect to sometimes feel at fault, rejected, angry, frustrated and miffed. Yep, not what youd choose! But, dont take things too personally.
  • Avoid the temptation to dismiss things as her just being hormonal she still needs your understanding and respect.
  • Dont say: There must be a cure for it if your partner has plucked up the courage to talk to you about what shes going through. There is no cure. HRT comes with all kinds of disadvantages.
  • Dont suggest she needs antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs these kinds of medication are proven to jeopardise the long-term outcome. Shes perfectly capable of making her own choices.
  • Read Also: What Helps With Dizziness During Menopause

    Can I Get Pregnant During Menopause

    The possibility of pregnancy disappears once you are postmenopausal, you have been without your period for an entire year . However, you can get pregnant during the menopause transition . If you dont want to become pregnant, you should continue to use some form of birth control until you have gone fully through menopause. Ask your healthcare provider before you stop using contraception.

    For some people, getting pregnant can be difficult once theyre in their late 30s and 40s because of a decline in fertility. However, if becoming pregnant is the goal, there are fertility-enhancing treatments and techniques that can help you get pregnant. Make sure to speak to your healthcare provider about these options.

    Relationships Sex And Contraception And The Menopause

    Menopause symptoms: How long do they last?

    In any relationship there are times when couples face challenges. The menopause can be one such time. Faced with a loss of sex drive and other symptoms which make them feel hot, anxious and uncomfortable, women may find they no longer want to have sex as much as they did before the menopause. Communication can become strained, with partners feeling rejected and at a loss to know how best to support their menopausal partner. Women told us how their symptoms affected their relationships, and about sex and contraception during the menopause.How symptoms affect relationshipsMenopausal symptoms are often at odds with a harmonious relationship. From a womans perspective, having to share a bed can add to the heat shes experiencing with hot flushes . Embarrassed and uncomfortable, her instinct is to get away, to find a cool spot to recover. Yet the double bed symbolises togetherness, and pushing a partner away or leaving the room, can be felt as rejection. Moreover hot flushes and sweats interrupt the partners sleep, with tiredness adding to tensions in the relationship .

    Recommended Reading: Dr Yael Swica

    When Your Partner Is Going Through Menopause

    The decrease in the level of hormone oestrogen that occurs at menopause causes a range of hormonal, physical and psychological changes for women around this stage of their lives. All women will experience menopause differently, some will have few symptoms and be untroubled by the changes that occur. Other women will experience terrible hot flushes, sleeplessness, night sweats and mood changes. There are many menopause symptoms that may impact on a woman’s relationships, especially the one with her intimate partner. It is important that you have some understanding of what is happening to your partner and realise that she is experiencing some major life and body changes that are out of her control. It will take time for her to work out the best way to approach and manage menopause and her symptoms. It is also worth remembering that you cannot always fix things but listening to your partner will be appreciated. Support and understanding from you can make this time much easier for her to cope with.

    A Healthy Lifestyle Helps

    A healthy lifestyle makes everything better, and menopause is no exception. To make the change go more smoothly with fewer symptoms, couples may want to adopt some healthy habits together. Research shows that people are more successful at making healthy changes if their partners make them too. Smoking can also make menopause symptoms worse, so if a woman in your life plans on quitting smoking, now is the perfect time. Women may also want to ramp up their diet and exercise routines since physically active women have fewer menopause symptoms.

    Don’t Miss: Perimenopause Dizzy Spells

    A Mans Guide To Menopause: How It Works And What To Expect

    When a woman is going through menopause, it can be a stressful time for her as well as her partner. During menopause, women have many changes happening through their body that they just can’t control, and can put a strain on her well being as well as her relationships.

    Dr. Diana Bitner, nationally recognized menopause specialist from Spectrum Health, continues the conversation with us in her “Men’s Guide to Menopause,” explaining what menopause is and how it effects a woman’s body physically and mentally.

    Dr. Bitner has heard many comments from women in her office going through menopause complaining about their husbands not understanding what they’re going through. As a result relationships can be strained because men either take their partner’s behavior or moods personally, or feel like their wife doesn’t love them anymore. The fact is women don’t really know what’s going when they go through the changes of menopause either, making the task of trying to understand a women going through menopause that much harder.

    Most men want to be supportive of their wives or partners and want to help in anyway they can, but they just don’t know what’s going on or what to do to make it better. So Dr. went through the basics of menopause and the most common symptoms that women display during this difficult time.

    Dr. Bitner’s office is located at 3800 Lake Michigan Drive Northwest, Suite A. To schedule an appointment with her, call -267-8225.

    Hot Flashes Make You Feel Like Youre On Fire

    Men & Menopause – The Impact

    Imagine standing there, minding your own business, and suddenly feeling like your entire body is engulfed in flames. That’s what hot flashes are like and they’re no fun. At least half of women experience hot flashes around the time of menopause. While women experience hot flashes for seven years on average, about 10% of women can experience hot flashes for more than 10 years, according to Minkin. Since hot flashes can make it hard to sleep, it can help to keep your bedroom cool at night.

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    Identifying Triggers In Your Marriage Part 1

    They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lias story, youll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!


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