Know When It Is Something More Serious
Your partner may be depressed if she:
- Is sad for weeks
- Seems guilt-ridden, anxious, or hopeless
- Seems easily irritated by others and unable to tolerate people
- Lacks energy and interest
- Has unexplained physical changes, like weight loss or gain
Depression can occur on its own or be a symptom of menopause. Whatever the trigger, it is important that you get help if you suspect your wife is suffering from the illness. Consult your medical provider for advice.
Q7 I Just Feel That She Doesnt Love Me Anymore And When I Try To Cuddle Or Kiss Her She Just Pushes Me Away And I Cant Remember The Last Time We Had Sex
A. Falling hormones at this time can affect her sex drive and can cause fatigue, so the last thing she is probably thinking about is sex. Also, hormonal changes can cause pain and discomfort during sex, so another reason to not feel like it. She is probably just as bewildered by these changes as you are, so again, talk about it in a supportive way, not a criticising way.
Ten Things A Man Needs To Know About The Menopause
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Is There Such A Thing As A ‘male Menopause’
The “male menopause” is an unhelpful term sometimes used in the media.
This label is;misleading because it suggests the symptoms are the result of a sudden;drop in testosterone in middle age, similar to what occurs in the female menopause. This is not true.
Although testosterone levels fall as men age, the decline is steady at;less than 2% a year from around the age of 30 to 40,;and this is unlikely to cause any problems in itself.
A testosterone deficiency that develops later in life, also known as late-onset hypogonadism, can sometimes;be responsible for these symptoms, but in many cases the symptoms are nothing to do with;hormones.
How To Survive The Menopause By The Man Who Saved Carol Vorderman’s Life
The 56-year-old former Countdown star last week told how she had suffered suicidal thoughts as she struggled with a blackness that descended in 2015
Carol Vordermans frank and fearless revelations about the depression she sank into when she hit the menopause have struck a chord with women across the UK.
The 56-year-old former Countdown star last week told how she had suffered suicidal thoughts as she struggled with a blackness that descended in 2015 as she tried to cope with the menopause .
She got through it thanks to bio-identical hormones prescribed by Professor John Studd, who she visited 18 months ago at the London PMS and Menopause Clinic in Marylebone.
But it seems Carol is one of the luckier ones as Prof Studd has seen other women take their own lives because they did not get adequate care.
He says: Women arent being looked after. Its a scandalous medical failure, the treatment of depression in pre-menopausal women.
Here, Prof Studd reveals how women can spot the menopause danger signs and get the best treatment…
How do you know you are going through the menopause?
The average age women go through the menopause is 51 but pre-menopausal depression can be triggered up to 10 years before the transition begins.
At 54, Carol was still having regular periods, but her sudden, extreme mood swings were unusual.
She says: I had six months when I was really low. Im not a depressed person but in that space of time I was genuinely depressed.
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Menopause Destroyed My Marriage: How Relationships Change
If only our vows went like this: In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad, and in menopause The reality is, divorce rates are rising in the United States, and there are so many different factors that cause couples to go their separate ways. But many women wonder, Will my marriage survive menopause? If this article is speaking to you and your own relationship, do not feel bad. Countless women in the throws of their menopause journey worry that one day they may say menopause destroyed my marriage.
Heres a look at menopause and divorce statistics, and some ways to improve the outcome of your own relationship.
Menopause and Divorce Statistics
Between 40% and 50% of first marriages fail in the United States. These numbers are even higher for people who are on their second and third marriages. In the past few decades, divorce rates have increased exponentially. There are many theories as to why this is, but there is a surprising trend in divorces: women initiate 60% of divorces in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.
Sure, several factors contribute to this phenomenon.
Of course, there are also cases where a partner cheats or develops an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or gambling. And sometimes, you just plain fall out of love.;
But what about the natural changes in your body that occur during your 40s-60s? Is this contributing to the high menopause divorce rate?;
Why Menopause Causes Divorce
Things that can contribute to menopause divorce include:
Vaginal Dryness Atrophy Fear Hot Flushes
Biological problems account for the majority of sexual problems in menopausal women. It is important to recognise that these problems hardly ever exist in isolation. Psychological, sociocultural, and/or relationship issues may also contribute to difficulties experienced by women and therefore its important that a thorough assessment is made to address these and other non-physiological factors.
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Q4 She Used To Be So Calm And Collected But Now She Is Snapping At Everyone Even When We Have Done Nothing Wrong
A. Dont take this personally the hormonal changes at this time can cause havoc with her emotions! Very often even she doesnt know how she is feeling, so it can be a very confusing and frightening time for her too.
Many women tell us that they cant understand why they are acting so out of character during this phase of their life. They find they are lashing out or falling into a bad mood at the drop of a hat. This is where it is really important to be supportive. She needs to know youre on her side and that you understand shes not necessarily feeling in control of whats going on at the moment. Be as sympathetic and understanding as you can, and keep talking! Communication is everything.
How S/he Views Her/him
Shy conversations and secret fears may not get talked about. So if there are any other sexual, marital or relationship problems they can get ignored leading to assumptions being made and misunderstandings becoming more common,;which in turn can lead to arguments. Low self-esteem then becomes a problem as neither partner feels supported or able to give voice to their emotions.
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Tips For A Better Sexual Relationship
See this as an opportunity to rediscover each others bodies, and to build your intimacy..
We’d Love To Hear From Husbands And Menopause Experiences
So, partners, wed love to hear from you how youre helping the women in your life manage menopause. What resources are your go-tos, what information is missing? With menopause still so taboo, are you even able to have conversations with women on the subject? Please share your thoughts in the comments below or on or . And by the way, guys? Thanks.
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Snapped At Sidelined Spurned In The Bedroom Men Reveal The Emotional Turmoil Of Living With A Wife Going Through ‘the Change’
For women, the menopause is a time of profound change, both physically and emotionally. But what of the husbands and partners they share their lives with? How does this critical period in a womans life affect them?
Its a subject that touches millions, but is rarely spoken about. Until now. In her new book, psychotherapist Sue Brayne persuaded a group of men, all married to women who were going, or had gone, through the menopause, to open up about their experiences.
Their testimony shows how a womans menopause can cut right to the heart of a mans sense of masculinity.
Difficult time: The changes a woman experiences during the menopause can affect both her and her partner
My father was unable and unwilling to express his emotions, so I grew up believing that all men were emotional cripples.
I now know this isnt true, but it took me years to appreciate that when it comes to life, love and loss, in their different way men suffer just as much as women do.
Women have each other to moan to or to pick up the pieces when our worlds fall apart. But men dont have that innate capacity.
They may mumble to their friends over a pint about something thats bothering them, but its rarely an open or honest conversation. So I was amazed when I managed to persuade a group of husbands to share their experiences of their wives menopause.
Most of them had never spoken about these things to anyone, but they were desperate for an outlet for their fears.
The Importance Of Prioritizing Your Relationship Right Now
Women should be compassionate when viewing their physical symptoms and emotional ups and downs.
These changes dont have to spell trouble for your relationship with your husband; partnerships go through seasons and transitions, and this is just one of those times when you learn to weather changes together.
Communicating through it all is extremely important. A husband or partner can be supportive and compassionate while watching the various stages and moments that this time brings. Asking questions in an attempt to understand while extending a little grace every now and then will help a woman realize that her husband is trying to connect with her.;
Women should be compassionate when viewing their physical symptoms and emotional ups and downs, knowing that although it can be difficult at times, there will be an end to this process eventually.
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Reduce Refined Sugar And Processed Foods
In fact, one study found that diets high in refined carbs may increase the risk of depression in postmenopausal women .
Diets high in processed foods may also affect bone health.
A large observational study found that among women aged 5059 years, diets high in processed and snack foods were associated with poor bone quality .
Diets high in processed foods and refined carbs are associated with a higher risk of depression and worse bone health in postmenopausal women.
Jackie Asked Her Husband To Read An Advice For Partners Section On A Website Forum
So I wouldnt blame the menopause but it can certainly make it really difficult when they cant empathise properly with what youre feeling. And I think a lot of women just, their husbands just shut off from them completely. I can see from what Im reading on there . But weve always had where wouldnt get the chance to switch off from me. And that advice for husbands bit that is set up on the Menopause Matters forum, well on the website, its a great long print out of all the symptoms that youre likely to feel and I print that. I tried to get to read through it oh a good lot of months ago and he didnt take enough notice and I was having a really rough few weeks, probably after moving here and after my dad died and stuff and I felt as though he was, hed lapsed a bit and wasnt really accepting that I was still going through this sort of thing. And I said, look, I feel as though youre not trying hard enough to understand why Im still pretty up and down and find it difficult to be normal really and I made him sit and read it. I said look, I want you to print that off and read it properly and take in what it says. But I had to push him to do it. But he did, he read it and I said, because its a good description of how the symptoms can make you feel and how dreadful it can be, I said it doesnt sound very nice does it? And he said No, it doesnt and so I think hes more aware than a lot of people and he tries, he tries sort of thing.
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Its Not Better Than A Period
Theoretically, not having a period ought to be better than having one because there is no more bleeding every month, and the accompanying cramps, bloating, nausea and PMS to deal with. Except it isnt. The toll living through menopause takes on ones body can make periods seem like a walk in the park.
Is It All Down To Menopause
Many women feel that their hormones must be responsible for the things that are going wrong in their sexual/daily relationships – this isnt necessarily the case, but its easier to look at the menopause rather than at the underlying issues.
Knowledge of the menopause and its effects makes it easier for them to offer support at a time when their partner may need more reassurance.
Be aware of other influences that may need to be explored, such as:
- The cost of HRT/natural remedies
- Hysterectomy and menopause
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Can A Woman Become Moody During Menopause
Any married man will tell you that a woman doesnt need a reason like menopause to go crazy. Any married woman will, of course, shift the blame on to their husband to why they went ballistic in the first place.
Its just another ordinary day in the life of a married couple.
Will your marriage survive menopause? If youve been together since you were young and restless. Then very likely. Regardless of how bad a womans mood swings and depression can get.
A loving couple that has been together for a long time has dealt with it before.
We always hear about how relationships are about giving and taking, how it requires a lot of patience and understanding.
Very rarely do we hear what we need to give and what we have to take. Why we have to be patient, and what we need to understand. If youve been married long enough to wonder if your marriage will survive menopause, then dont worry about it. Just do what youve always done and your marriage will be fine.
What Can I Do To Help Myself
To help you manage hot flushes, simple things like wearing light clothing, using a fan and keeping your bedroom cool could help.
If youre struggling with your mood, consider trying self-help measures like relaxation, getting enough sleep and staying active.;Regular physical activity and eating a healthy diet can also help to improve menopausal symptoms.
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You Need A Sense Of Control And Volition
You need to know and feel that you matter, that you have an impact on your surroundings and your relationships.
Since theres so much in life we have no control over, be on the lookout for things where your positive input can make a difference. And, of course, your attitude and actions regarding the well-being of your relationship, can make a huge difference!
Now your partner or spouse is going through the menopause, you could, for example, aim to be extra generous with your love and attention, understanding and forgiving.
In addition, talking about and setting and honouring each others boundaries does a lot to cultivate respect. Chances are that over the years youve piled on the assumptions without having a meaningful conversation about each others needs and wants.