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Do Women Still Have Sex After Menopause

If Youre Trying To O Like Right Now Try This

How to have great sex after menopause

You really want to orgasm, but, for whatever reason, you just cant seem to get there. This can feel so discouraging that, eventually, you might decide theres no point in trying and give up entirely.

While you can try a few different things to make an orgasm happen, its also important to keep in mind that you can still enjoy yourself, even without an O.

Focusing on the pleasure youre experiencing in the momentwithout fixating on orgasm as a specific goal might just help you get there more quickly.

For more satisfying sex, solo or partnered, try these tips.

Myth: Menopause Ends Your Desire For Sex

The facts: Many women do report decreased sexual desire with menopause and the perimenopausal period leading up to it. Some women, however, report an increased libido while others report no change in their desire for sex.

Because libido is a complicated issue thats both physical and psychological, these differences are likely due to several factors.

You may, for instance, find sex is the last thing on your mind when youre experiencing hot flashes that leave you drenched, mood swings that remind you of puberty, and unexplained weight gain that makes your pajamas tighter than they ought to be.

But many women breeze through perimenopause to menopause with few problems and simply dont experience the hot flashes, mood swings, and other symptoms that make sexual desire a distant memory for some.

The good news is, you dont have to accept loss of libido as a normal part of menopause. If your desire for sex is low , and youd like a change, we can help with treatment that may include home remedies, over-the-counter aids, and prescription medicine, when necessary.

We can also help you work through the emotional aspects of menopause and the aging process itself. Depending on your circumstance, we may refer you for counseling and/or prescribe antidepressants, which are also known to decrease the hot flashes associated with menopause.

How Can Postmenopausal Women Improve Their Sex Life

First, you should accept the fact that it is normal to experience changes in sexual desire after menopause. Though you can continue to enjoy intimacy with your partner in ways, such as cuddling, sharing a bed, going on dates or weekend getaways, the intensity of the orgasms may not be as strong as before. This does not mean that your sex life is over. You and your partner may try techniques like clitoral massage because this may lead to better orgasms. There are other tips that can help menopausal women to take control of their sex life and derive maximum pleasure. Here are some of the effective ones.

Women should treat vaginal dryness. Vaginal dryness is a common reason for painful sex after menopause. Here are a few things that women can try to deal with this.

Both you and your partner can come together in bed and devise creative ways to experience sexual pleasure.

Women should also practice self-care, which includes

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Getting Your Sex Life Back After Menopause

To address the issues listed above, there are a few treatment options to consider, including:

  • Estrogen treatment. Talk to your doctor about estrogen and hormone therapy, which can treat the main physical side effects of menopause. But do know the risks Self.com reports that theres a small risk the amped up estrogen can contribute to uterine cancer unless with the synthetic hormone progestin. But combining the two may then increase a woman’s risk of breast cancer, according to The American Cancer Society. Be sure to ask your doctor about these risks!
  • Vaginal dilators. No, no, not a scary metal contraption or anything close to a speculum . Vaginal dilators look a lot like plain old dildos, but theyre used throughout your day in non-sexual situations to gently ease your body back into penetration. This is especially helpful for vaginismus and painful sex because it builds vaginal muscles and shows your body its safe to have things inside you. is $50, but there are less expensive options too. Gradually increase the size as you work back toward penetrative sex.

It can be difficult to honor and love our bodies as we age. Especially with every magazine cover and advertisement hawking wrinkle creams, fad diets, and exercise trends. And yes, exercise can also make sex better but not all trends are effective: remember those weird vintage waist bands that vibrated back and forth?

Rediscover Your Sexual Personality

Sex After Menopause: How It Changes

As this new chapter of your life begins, its best to get to know yourself again before getting frustrated with the changes.

If you know why and how it happens, the better chances of you coping with whats happening. Dont be ashamed of getting to know your body again. What turns you on? Do you like role-playing?

Do you like touching yourself? Do you get aroused when watching porn?

At this age, there is no room for inhibitions. Do what you want in life and enjoy! Its time to get it on and be yourself. Know what you want and ask for it.

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Find A Lubricant You Love

Vaginal dryness is totally treatable, says , MD, clinical professor of ob-gyn at Yale School of Medicine. One option is an over-the-counter vaginal moisturizer designed to be used regularly, say two to three times a week, rather than just before sex. Take a walk down through your local drugstore, and you’ll see many different brands.

Then when you’re ready to hit the bedroom, apply a water- or silicone-based lubricant intended to be used in the moment, so you get even more of an assist. If you’ve never checked out lubricants before, you’ll be amazed at all the varieties, including natural, additive-free versions and some that come in single-use packets for a quickie on the go.

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Fyi Becoming Pregnant May Not Be Out Of The Question

When youre perimenopausal, or transitioning towards menopause, you could go two months without a period and then it may make an appearance again. Menopause is defined by not having a period for 12 months straight, so the breakthrough bleeding or periods in between means that pregnancy can result from unprotected sex, although it is unlikely.

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Let Yourself Experiment Sexually

Lets state the obvious: None of the most common menopause symptoms, from hot flashes to night sweats to fatigue and occasional incontinence, sets you to up to feel desirable. Before these side effects take a toll on your self esteem, talk to your doctor about ways to manage them.

Just come in right away, says Dr. Valle. As time goes on, some problems can get worse and worse.

Realize, too, that you may have to work a little harder than usual to get out of your funk and in the mood. That means more foreplay, watching porn , trying out sex toysor just learning to relax.

Dont think your sex life ends once you go through menopause, assures Valle. I know an 80-year-old woman who still has sex with her partner. Its a different stage of life, but a good sex life is still possible.

Are There Any Positive Sexual Changes That Might Occur During This Time

How To Enjoy Sex After Menopause

You may find theres something of a bright side to this transition, too.

By now, you probably know plenty about what you do and dont enjoy sexually. Your sense of self and personal confidence might also be stronger and more developed than at earlier points in your life.

Increased confidence and self-awareness can help lower inhibitions, making it easier to communicate and connect with your partner.

Whats more, if youve raised children that have since left home, youre in a position to enjoy more privacy and leisurely intimate encounters, instead of having to rush through things when family members are out of the house or asleep.

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Great Sex After Menopause

Yes, its possible to have great sex after menopause!

One of the most common complaints among menopausal women is a low sex drive, so if this is you, you are not alone. These changes are normal, but that doesnt mean you have to accept them. There are a lot of reasons for a reduced sex drive so its important to be open and honest with your doctor about how youre feeling. Based on your symptoms, your doctor can help determine whats causing these changes. And the good news is that there are a variety of treatment options available to help increase your libido.

Common Reasons for Low Sex Drive

Age Women are 2-3times more likely as men to experience reduced desire as they age.

Hormone Changes Changing hormones can wreak havoc on a woman. Around the time of menopause, estrogen levels begin to drop, which can lead to symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, lethargy, vaginal dryness, and more. And of course, a dip in desire. After all, if you are dealing with all those other issues, romance may not be high on your list of priorities.

Other Health Problems Issues like depression, anxiety, bladder control problems, chronic illness, and medications may also cause lack of desire.

Relationship Troubles Sometimes your lack of desire may not just be physical. If you are having relationship problems, it can certainly stall your sex drive.

So, now that we know some of the causes, lets look at some of the things that can be done to increase your libido.

Treatment Options

The Physiology Of Sex After Menopause

You might be familiar with the stereotype of menopausal women portrayed in the mediacrotchety, dried-up, and sexless after menopause. And yeah, your body is changing and this change comes with side effects, but you dont suddenly have a vagina-less Barbie body. Sex is still a basic part of your human experience and you can still enjoy it.

However, its best to just come out and say it: menopause will change your sex life. There are several reasons why:

  • Vaginal atrophy. During menopause your body halts estrogen production. A decrease in estrogen can lead to vaginal atrophy, which the Mayo Clinic defines as thinning, drying and inflammation of the vaginal walls. While that sounds scary, dont worry, there are treatments available. But before we go further its important to note that vaginal atrophy doesnt just affect your vaginal canal. It can also come with symptoms like recurring UTIs, burning when you urinate, and an urgency to urinate. In short, vaginal atrophy affects everything about your vulva, and not just the parts you use for sex. Its normal, and you shouldnt be embarrassed or ashamed. Most menopausal people have some of these issues!

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Why A Womans Sex Life Declines After Menopause

A revealing new analysis gives voice to the many reasons a womans sex life often falters with age.

For many women, sex after menopause is not as satisfying as it used to be. But is menopause entirely to blame?

New research suggests that the hormonal changes that come with menopause are only part of the reason a womans sex life declines with age. Its true that many women experience symptoms after menopause, including vaginal dryness, painful intercourse and loss of desire all of which can affect the frequency and pleasure of sex.

But the new study shows that the reasons many women stop wanting sex, enjoying sex and having sex are far more complex. While women traditionally have been blamed when sex wanes in a relationship, the research shows that, often, its the health of a womans partner that determines whether she remains sexually active and satisfied with her sex life.

We know that menopause seems to have a bad effect on libido, vaginal dryness and sexual pain, said Dr. Stephanie Faubion, director of the Mayo Clinic Center for Womens Health in Rochester, Minn. But what is coming up as a consistent finding is that the partner has such a prominent role. Its not just the availability of the partner its the physical health of the partner as well.

The main reason was losing a partner to death or divorce, which was cited by 37 percent of the women.

Others cited mental health and addiction issues as the reason for lack of sex.

How Intercourse Changes After Menopause


While intercourse after menopause can be good, dont expect it to be the same type of intercourse you were having in your 20s, says Chris Kraft, Ph.D., director of clinical services at the Sex and Gender Clinic in the department of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medicine. This is also a stage of life with a lot of changes that can affect your intimacy. Being aware of the changes that impact this part of your body and mind will help you feel more prepared if you hit any speed bumps in the sheets.

Why you may have less desire to be intimate than before:

Your estrogen level will decrease drastically during menopause, as well as in perimenopause. This has a huge impact on your sexual function. According to Kraft, It can lower desire and make it harder for you to become aroused. It can also make the vaginal canal less stretchy and you may experience dryness, which can cause intercourse to be painful. Apparently, more than a third of women report having sexual difficulties, from lack of interest in sex to trouble having an orgasm.

Some women who choose not to participate in general hormone replacement therapy but still have issues with dryness and discomfort have found success using vaginal estrogen treatments, which can return some moisture and elasticity to the vagina.

Other factors include chronic health issues that come with age, injuries causing depleted energy, and a lowered body image.

Is it normal to have little-to-no intimate life after menopause?

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Take Time For Kissing And Touching

Changing hormones can also mean it takes longer to become aroused or feel in the mood for sex.

Spending more time on erogenous play and non-physical intimacy doesnt just increase your arousal. It can also help you feel more connected to your partner.


These ideas work just as well when it comes to getting yourself in the mood for solo sex, too.

How Can I Improve Intimacy With My Partner

During menopause, if your sex drive has dropped but you don’t think you need counseling, you should still take time for intimacy. You can still show your partner love and affection without having sex. Enjoy your time together: take walks, eat dinner by candlelight, or give each other back rubs.

To improve your physical intimacy, try these tips:

  • Consider experimenting with erotic videos or books, masturbation, and changes to sexual routines.
  • Use distraction techniques to boost relaxation and ease anxiety. These can include erotic or non-erotic fantasies, exercises with sex, and music, videos, or television.
  • Have fun with foreplay, such as sensual massage or oral sex. These activities can make you feel more comfortable and improve communication between you and your partner.
  • Minimize any pain you might have by using sexual positions that allow you to control the depth of penetration. You may also want to take a warm bath before sex to help you relax, and use vaginal lubricants to help ease pain caused by friction.
  • Tell your partner what’s comfortable and what’s not.

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What If Sex Is Too Painful

Even without a long period of abstinence, sex after menopause is sometimes just more painful.

If youre experiencing increased pain with intercourse, particularly to the point that your desire has been greatly limited as a result, try experimenting with:

  • lubrication
  • different sexual positions

You may also want to consider seeing your doctor. Sometimes pain can be caused by infections or other treatable conditions. Seeing your doctor can help you get the appropriate treatment as well as additional advice for your specific concerns.

Myth: Theres No Way To Spice Up Your Sex Life After Menopause

#33 Sex Drive Lost After Menopause

The facts: Many women find menopause the perfect time to try new ways of expressing their sensuality and sexuality with a loving, trusted partner. All those years youve spent learning and growing as a woman can give you the courage to ask for the touch you enjoy or explore a sexual position youve always fantasized about.

As your children get older and spend more time away from the nest, you may even find it enjoyable to have sex in the dining room, in front of the fireplace in the living room, or on that cozy backyard porch swing. When your kids are out, just being able to leave the bedroom door open for a change may add the right amount of spice to your sex life.

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Is There Anything You Can Try During Solo Sex

Solo sex isnt just something to do when you dont have a partner. It can be an enjoyable and empowering activity on its own.

If youre not in the habit of masturbating regularly, set aside time for some physical self-exploration to get to know your body a little better. Focus on what feels good, and you might find it becomes easier to orgasm without frustration.

Sex toys, like vibrators and dildos, can enhance arousal and sexual satisfaction especially when touching yourself doesnt quite get you there.

You May Reinvent Reimagine Your Sex Life

Keep in mind that sex doesnt look the same with aging, says Faubion. We have to modify our expectations about sexual functioning as we get older. Sex may not be always be penis and vagina sex I have that conversation often with my patients, she says.

As peoples bodies and health changes, including medical illnesses that can be experienced by both men and women, we may need to modify what we are doing, but nonetheless, sexual intimacy remains important to all people for as long as they live, says Faubion.

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