Can Vibrators & Lubricants Make Sex More Enjoyable
Sexually pleasing yourself and sexually allowing your partner to please you are two separate things. But, theyre both necessary to keep up with a normal and healthy sex life.
As far as vibrators go, health care professionals and myself encourage you to use a vibrator on a somewhat normal basis. Youre going to start to go through body and mental changes that may seem weird and different to you, but go with them.
Oftentimes, it will trigger a curious thought process in your mind, potentially making you want to try out new things .
The vibrations from a vibrator will be super beneficial in a number of ways, including but not limited to increasing blood flow to the area, triggering arousal, and delivering extra estrogen.
On the other hand, vaginal atrophy was mentioned earlier, where irritation, dryness, and swelling of the vaginal tissue may occur. Thats where the lubricants come in.
Forewarning, you may need to narrow down the best lubricant for you and your body based on preference, allergies, and other criteria.
Loss Of Libido Or Decreased Arousal
Changing hormone levels can affect your sexual interest, but other factors can play a part in libido, too.
- Taking any regular medications? Its worth checking whether any of them can affect libido and asking a healthcare professional about trying a different medication.
- Lingering changes in your mood? Stress, depression, and anxiety can all affect desire, so it never hurts to talk with a therapist or other mental health professional if youre experiencing mood changes.
- Having a hard time getting in the mood? Try reading or watching erotica alone or with your partner or sharing sexual fantasies with each other.
And Keep In Mind That You Can Still Get Pregnant Even After The Menopause Process Starts
Because menopause is defined by not having a period for 12 months straight, when youâre perimenopausal, or transitioning towards menopause, your period may go MIA but then make a comeback at some point. Some people have breakthrough bleeding or periods in between, according to The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. And while that doesnt necessarily mean that youve ovulated, it could mean that you have. And that means you could potentially get pregnant.
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Body Image And Menopause
Some of the things that may contribute to your body image around menopause include:
- social attitudes Western culture rarely portrays older women as sexual or desirable. These ingrained social attitudes may make you feel less attractive. Some women wrongly believe that sex is only for young people. If you feel this way, it may cause your sexual interest and activity to wane
- possible weight gain you may find your body fat increases at this time, especially around your abdomen. This is due to hormonal changes and other age-related factors
- changes to body hair growth.
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What Are The Causes Of Low Libido During Menopause
When a person is not comfortable with their body, it can decrease the desire for sex.
There are many ways in which menopause affects the libido. First, we already discussed testosterone levels, but the estrogen levels also decrease. These hormones are responsible for sexual responses. Estrogen can cause many changes, like vaginal dryness. Even if a lady did become aroused, sex might not be as pleasurable as it was before these changes.
Another problem caused by these hormones is vaginal atrophy. Since the vagina is lacking the lubrication it needs, it can cause the vaginal walls to start thinning. Sex is quite uncomfortable when its too dry, and the walls of the vagina have thinned.
The various changes happening in the body can cause weight gain. When a person is not comfortable with their body, it can decrease the desire for sex. Add restless nights, and hot flashes to the mix, and no one wants to think about having anyone in their personal space. Many women find that they are depressed, anxious, and quite irritable. Its another problem caused by the shifting hormones, yet all these problems together make sexual encounters low on the list.
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What Happens During An Orgasm
During an orgasm, people may experience an intense feeling of pleasure in the genitals and throughout the body. Orgasms can feel different for each individual.
After an orgasm, the face, neck, or chest may flush. People may also feel sleepy, relaxed, or happy afterwards due to a release of endorphins.
Sex Drive After Hysterectomy
Some women have less interest in sex after having a hysterectomy. If this happens to you, your interest in sex may return as your recovery progresses.
If you and your partner feel it’s a problem, talk about it together so that it does not become an unspoken issue between you. You can also talk to your GP or find a counsellor who can offer help with sexual problems.
Our talking about sex page has tips from a psychosexual therapist, which you might find useful.
Lack of sex drive can be made worse by depression, menopausal symptoms, relationship problems and stress. These problems are often temporary, but if symptoms of the menopause or depression persist, see a doctor. Treating menopausal symptoms may boost your sex drive indirectly by improving your general wellbeing and energy levels.
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What About Essential Oils
Some people recommend taking your DIY lube up a notch by adding an essential oil for a nice scent.
But this means youre applying essential oils internally, because your body ingests and absorbs substances applied to areas like the mouth, vagina, and anus.
Unfortunately, essential oils arent consistently regulated enough for internal use.
You shouldnt use essential oils internally unless youve undergone advanced training and certification or are acting under the guidance of a trained professional.
Follow a trained professionals advice closely, and make sure you always dilute essential oils by mixing them with a carrier oil such as coconut.
A little goes a long way, and its easy to overdo it if youre not paying attention. Make sure the essential oil is less than 5 percent of your mixture.
Just because a product is natural doesnt mean its perfectly safe for you.
Make sure you avoid ingredients that you or your partner is allergic to.
If youre not sure, try this simple patch test before you dive into using a new lube for play:
Dont use the lube if you notice a reaction like redness, swelling, itching, or blistering on your skin patch.
If you start having a reaction before 24 hours have passed, immediately wash the area with soap and warm water.
When To Talk To Your Doctor
As a person goes through menopause, it’s natural for their experience of their body to change. However, there are certain signs that you should talk to your doctor. These include:
- Irregular vaginal bleeding
- Pain during sex or urination
- Any symptoms that make it difficult to function in your life
Even more mild symptoms may be worth talking to a doctor about if they’re making it hard to live your life. There may be options to help you sleep better and feel better, which can also help your libido and sex life.
People who are having trouble coping with the psychological changes of menopause should also consider talking with a therapist. A skilled sex therapist may be particularly helpful if you have difficulty figuring out how to reignite your sex life after menopause.
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Is There Anything You Can Try During Solo Sex
Solo sex isnt just something to do when you dont have a partner. It can be an enjoyable and empowering activity on its own.
If youre not in the habit of masturbating regularly, set aside time for some physical self-exploration to get to know your body a little better. Focus on what feels good, and you might find it becomes easier to orgasm without frustration.
Ways To Improve Orgasms After Menopause
Change the Way you View Menopause
Yes, menopause brings with it a host of challenges, but its time to change the way you view menopause. Changing the way you look at things could help you improve that orgasm after menopause! Yes, its true! The female orgasm is strongly tied to emotions.
Think about the best sex you ever had and ask yourself this how did you feel about yourself? You probably felt confident, sexy and self-assured, right? If you can start viewing menopause as a positive transformative period in your life you could have better sex post-menopause! Being in menopause doesnt make you any less attractive or endearing. Age is just a number and does not define your sex life.
How is this possible? Think of it this way. By now you have amassed a good amount of life experience. You know what you like in and out of the bedroom and you probably know what your partner likes if youve been together several years.
You might well be older, but youre so much wiser too. Think of all the incredible things you have achieved in your life so far. Think of the challenges you have overcome!
Do Regular Pelvic Floor Exercises
If you dont already, try introducing pelvic floor exercises into your daily or weekly routine. This can help increase vaginal sensation and deliver more intense orgasms. Its never too late to start doing pelvic floor exercises.
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What Happens If You Keep Your Ovaries After A Hysterectomy
If you keep your ovaries during the hysterectomy, you should not have other menopausal symptoms right away. But you may have symptoms a few years younger than the average age for menopause . Because your uterus is removed, you no longer have periods and cannot get pregnant.
Physical Changes With Menopause
Around menopause, you may notice physical changes that affect your sexuality in positive and negative ways. These may include:
- vaginal changes as oestrogen levels fall, the walls of the vagina become thinner and drier. Loss of lubrication can make having sex uncomfortable
- slowed sexual response it may take longer for you to get aroused and reach orgasm, and orgasm may be less intense
- infections your vagina and bladder may become more susceptible to bacterial infections
- menopause symptoms can include hot flushes, night sweats, insomnia and unusual skin sensations like prickling, itching or ants under the skin
- touch avoidance you may find you dont want to be touched. You may not feel like getting close and intimate because your skin feels more sensitive and you dont like the feeling of your combined body heat
- physical discomfort of menopause symptoms may reduce your interest in sex or make you tired
- absent periods if you experienced heavy or painful periods you may feel relieved and positive about no longer having periods. This can lead to a renewed interest in sex
- no fear of pregnancy if you were trying to avoid pregnancy during your reproductive years, you may find menopause a time of renewed sexual interest. Without the risk of pregnancy, sex may become more relaxed and fun and you may feel like it more often.
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Give Your Clitoris More Attention
For many women, stimulating the clitoris is an important part of having an orgasm. A 2016 study found that 64% of women had an orgasm by stimulating both the vagina and the clitoris.
This doesnt change just because you go through menopause, so now is definitely not the time to neglect your clit. Some lube is probably useful here too, as is oral sex, which offers stimulation and lubrication all rolled into one. Using vibrators on your clit can also help you to feel more sensitive and wet.
Its Best Not To Ignore Any Changes That Cause You Distress
You may cringe at the thought of talking to your gynecologist about sex. But rest assured, there is no reason to feel awkward. If you’re dealing with these changes and are very much unhappy with them, talk to your doctor. Right now, this may be a conversation that needs to take place via telehealth due to the pandemic. If you feel dismissed, then Dr. Rowen encourages you to consider switching to another provider if at all possible. Go find someone who will listen to you and take your problems seriously, Dr. Rowen says. Together, you can come up with a treatment plan that may help you have a more fulfilling sex life, even after menopause.
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Menopause Can Have Mental And Emotional Effects Too
Most people dont like their period, but when it goes away you feel your age, Dr. Rowen tells SELF. For some people, the idea of losing their period can be psychologically distressing.And as we mentioned, your hormones, specifically estrogen and progesterone, change during menopause. And this change may cause feelings of anxiety and depression. Lower estrogen can also trigger hot flashes that make it difficult to sleep, leading to mood swings and anxiety. Coupled with any emotional distress from losing your period, and you understandably may not be in the mood to have sex. If you feel down for more than two weeks, you may be depressed and want to speak with a therapist, the Cleveland Clinic recommends. However, finding a therapist can be a long, and often stressful, process. . Generally, you will want to start by asking your insurance company for a list of providers. If you dont have insurance, websites like Open Path include therapists who offer reduced-fee sessions.
How Your Sex Drive May Be Affected During And After The Menopause
Getting aroused during sex and having an orgasm relies on a complex range of physical and emotional factors which may be affected when you approach the menopause and postmenopause.
As you go through the menopause, your ovaries stop producing as much of the sex hormones oestrogen and progesterone and stop releasing eggs . The amount of the hormone testosterone your body produces lowers naturally. This reduction in hormones can reduce your sex drive, too.
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Sex Equals Stress Relief
Menopause mood swings are brutal. One minute youre fine and the next youre ready to burst into tears. Its no wonder why so many menopausal women experience increased stress. Well, the good news is that sex is a natural stress reliever, soothing anxiety like few things can. Touching and hugging release feel-good hormones, promoting feelings of relaxation and contentment.
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Do I Still Have To Worry About Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Yes. Menopause and postmenopause donât protect you against STDs. You can get an STD at any point in your life during which youâre sexually active. This risk doesnât go down with age or with changes in your reproductive system.
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How Does Menopause Affect Sex
When a woman has had no period for 12 consecutive months they are considered to me officially menopausal. The reason this occurs is that the body produces less and less oestrogen and progesterone until it is all but diminished. Therefore the woman no longer releases an egg each month. For some, this can be truly liberating but for many, its a time of struggle.
Stress & Low Libido
Sometimes a low libido isnt a direct symptom of menopause, but instead, its experienced as a result of the stress of dealing with other symptoms. For example, intense hot flushes, anxiety and low mood are all very stressful things to deal with. Incontinence is another common symptom that can trigger a lot of stress.
If youre anticipating symptoms throughout the day, dreading the effects of them in the workplace or the impact on your social life, then this constant ongoing stress can leave you with next to no sex drive. Its important to recognise when stress is the underlying factor or when low libido is simply a symptom within itself.
When low libido occurs as a direct symptom of menopause, this means its linked to the reduction in hormones. If you are managing stress well but still feel no drive to have intercourse, this could be the reason. A womans libido is complex and never black and white. It changes and varies even after menopause.
Sex itself can become very unenjoyable if youre suffering from vaginal dryness.
How Does Menopause Affect Sex Drive
The loss of estrogen and testosterone following menopause can lead to changes in a woman’s body and sexual drive. Menopausal and postmenopausal women may notice that they’re not as easily aroused, and they may be less sensitive to touching and stroking. That can lead to less interest in sex.
Other factors may influence a woman’s level of interest in sex during menopause and after. These include:
- Health concerns
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